I have earned the “Been There, Done That Diploma” and proudly display it on my living room wall in a huge gold frame with a light shining on it. I’m not perfect in a marriage or any other kind of relationship, but I do know many things that will enhance the bond.
I think all too often people approach marriage relationships unrealistically. They think that it will be white lace and roses every day. Actually, that is part of the problem – they don’t think past the day of white lace and roses.
Love is a beautiful emotion. If more people practiced unconditional, selfless love, this planet would be entirely different. The best place to start improving our lives and the lives of those around us is to learn how to have successful relationships.
must respect the thorn.”
Qualities and characteristics of a loving bond are easy to pinpoint because the relationship is happy, healthy and successful. I purposely did not put this list of attributes in order of importance because I wanted to keep disagreements down to a minimum (smile). Instead, they are listed by “length” of the word or phrase with the shortest being first. Nerdy way to do it, but I’m sure my listing method won’t surprise you at all. So here are 34 important things in a loving marriage or relationship:
- trust
- loyalty
- respect
- honesty
- patience
- courtesy
- reliability
- gratitude
- forgiving
- friendship
- dedication
- faithfulness
- affectionate
- passion/sex
- commitment
- common goals
- sense of humor
- listens attentively
- agree to disagree
- common interests
- unconditional love
- open-mindedness
- emotional support
- not overly sensitive
- giving/unselfishness
- accepts without judgment
- willingness to communicate
- security/money/willing to work
- understands alone time/space
- expresses wants, needs and feelings
- keeps the relationship fresh/surprises
- time is set aside to do things together
- willing to negotiate and compromise/”win-win” attitude
- understands and accepts that there are definite differences in each person and that everything doesn’t always make sense
I know that is a long list, but you don’t have to be perfect to have a successful marriage or relationship. The “willingness” to work on it daily is the key. There never has been nor ever will be a union between two people that is perfect, but there are loving relationships that have many perfect moments.
Ahhh….perfect moments. That is why there are fairy tales. We long for the perfect moments in life. Well, they are possible, but there is hard work involved and a willingness to take the risk. In the end though, the perfect moments make it all worth it.
Love is like a rose: Long after the outer petals shrivel and fade, the most fragrant and intoxicating velvety softness can still be found.
Okay, breathe!
That post was so serious!
I will leave you now with a rose and a bit of levity by the First Lady of the United States (1933 to 1945)…
I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description
in the catalogue:
no good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall.”
Happy Valentine’s Day! May you always love and be loved.
A lovely post… but I took a spit take when I read Eleanor Roosevelt's quote! 😀
so very true! Happy Valentine's Day Red! love the E Roosevelt quote
Lovely post and so true. I loved the Persian saying – doesn't that say it all? Donna from Believe in Yourself BlogFrog
Very lovely post! And Eleanor had a gr8 sense of humor!
Wow…that is a long list! And I could almost smell those roses on your page.
Excellent words of wisdom. I love, "He who wants a rose
must respect the thorn."
I really like this post, am going to share it!
If more movies were made about real relationships, people wouldn't think it was all roses and lace in the first place.
Watching Love Etc. on the OWN Network – it's a really lovely movie.
Thank you for reminding us all of the different types of love.
ALL of these things are so very true. Did you know that that is how we are suppose to love Jesus as well? Unfortunately, humans tend to pick and choose instead of putting their whole being into a relationship whether it is the human to human or human to God. Many if not most go into a relationship or marriage with the feeling "oh well, if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce". They don't want to "WORK" at and develop a deeper relationship. That is what is sad. I know because I used to be one of them. My first, I had unreal expectaions. I tried to be the PERFECT wife, including starching army fatigues so much they could stand on their own and then ironed them, literally spit-shined his boots til I had no more "spit" left and could see my reflection clearly in them, and did "everything" he told me to do, and that still did not work. I ended the marriage after 7 years.
I learned a bit from the first one, so I was not as gracious with my second husband, but still a good wife. That was not good enough I guess. So goes the second after 7 years.
This one seemed to have more UPS AND DOWNS, and more conflicts, but I have learned so much from the other two and have grown to understand that if I want to stay married I have to WORK on myself, overlooking the imperfections and disillusionment. Basically realizing he is HUMAN and is not going to meet ALL of my "perfect husband criteria" and love him for who he is. Sadly it has taken me 40 years to figure this out! Hubby and I have been together for 26 of those years, and that is because I finally realized a relationship is like anything else. If you want a good one you have to work at it. You get what you pay for, pay in this instance being working. If you don't work at it, it can't develop into anything better. Well, I don't know why this specific post got me on my soap box, but I guess it's because I don't want others to have to go through what I did before I finally understood the ONLY one who can make a difference in your life is you, and your attitude will determine how successful your relationships will be. (unfortunately it took me a BIG ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT before I figured it out.)
MAY YOU ALL find wonderful and lasting relationships, realizing that ALL relationships take a lot of work on both parts.
I am definitely NOT a relationship counselor, just someone who is learning from experience and my growth in God's Word.
(Hey Red! sorry about the "book". Don't know what got into me! LOL!
God Bless,
PJ
These are lovely pictures with a nice post and your recipes are mouthwatering. 🙂