As Charles Dickens said in A Tale of Two Cities, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven.”
Yes, Mr. Dickens wrote of a complete contradiction of everything life has to offer especially in marriage. I can’t think of a better discussion for an action and entity that I think people take far too lightly in a series called Marriage – It’s Not All White Lace And Roses.
Journaling, which in many cases now means blogging, is a great platform to discuss the intricacies of marriage successes and failures unhappy learning experiences. Let me state for the record that I do not know everything about being successful in marriage, however, I don’t believe anyone else does either. The committed union between husband and wife is very individualistic meaning what works for one doesn’t work for another. It is a live and learn process with some basics that are applicable to everyone.
My daughter is dating and I imagine will be contemplating marriage within the next ten years, so I want to have a source to refer over and over if necessary to help her understand how and why I have gotten to this point in my married existence. It will include the lessons learned from the good times and the bad with hopes that she can avoid a lot if not all the unpleasant parts.
In this writing journey, I hope that you will share your marriage experiences, successes, goals, wisdom, happiness and the pain involved in having a relationship we like to think of as the Cinderella Story.
This relationship and union between two people can be likened to a dance called The Tango. This is a partner dance, but led by the man. The couple will at times have a space between their bodies, but also can and will have a close embrace. Leading and following are done in unison and harmony with body, spirit and mind.
This beautiful, often fast paced dance called marriage can be as much of an adventure as The Tango. The type of marriage is entirely up to both people joined in the commitment. A contract, if you will, which in no particular order includes, but is not limited to, honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, compassion, gratitude, honor, love, humor, happiness, celebration, respect, excitement, sacrifice, and unity with every step of the journey…
depends on two things:
(1) finding the right person
and
(2) being the right person.”
Red, you are just awesome, it always seems like when I've got something on my mind, you have an awesome blog on it, I look forward to this journey 🙂
One thing that has really helped me in my marriage is getting past myself. For example, if my husband and I disagree on something, instead of always looking to get my way, I have learned to work together for what is best for our marriage. And of course, having Christ as the center of our marriage is what truly matters.
I love that you're doing this!!
I don't know all there is to know about relationships or marriage either but here's what works for us:
http://moremilestones.blogspot.com/2010/06/love-and-marriage.html
I think the best things we can do for our children is to SHOW them what a marriage is & how it has it's ups and downs… It's not all white lace and roses. : )
test
Oh and by the way, i LOVE LOVE LOVE that pic of the tango!!!
I love that quote! So very true!
I am looking forward to this series! Me and hubs will be celebrating 10 yrs of marriage next week. I approach marriage as a full-time job, but I also think it's a partnership. Sometimes it's 50/50, sometimes it's 80/20.
How funny, I started a post with " It was the best of times. It was the worst of times" last weekend! It was a totally different post, though.
What a great idea for your daughter's future benefit. I think the one thing people don't tell you about marriage is how hard is can be. And when you start to talk about it, EVERYONE that has been married for a length of time will tell you they had their very tough times when they weren't sure they were going to make it. We've been married almost twelve years and what a ride it has been. It has been fun and romantic, passionate, sweet and fairy tale-ish. But it has also been tragic, scary, lonely, sad and horrifying. They key is holding on to each other to weather the hard times rather than blaming each other for them.
I think the last part of your post defines it exactly.
Marriage is a wild ride for sure. I love my Hubby more than anyone ever, however, he gets on my G-Drn nerves! Oy! I think the trick is being committed enough to recognize when there's a problem and doing the work to fix it.
Best of time and worst of times…how very true. Love this post!
We will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary in August and I'm amazed that when I look back on on our wedding pictures I just look at my young face and think 'girl, you know NOTHING.'
I had a wonderful example in a godly mother to follow and this has been an inspiration to me…to live out a godly example for my three children to witness. Also I love that the Bible gives me motivation to be a godly wife too…so that the word of God will not be maligned. This inspiration never fails to encourage me.
The last statement of your post is so true
I think my husband and I are trying really hard to teach our daughters what it's like to have a "real" marriage. That means that yes, we may argue sometimes and be bad at each other, but in the end we kiss and make up and we still love each other. They know it's not all champagne and roses and I hope they will take this with them into their future relationships.
Great post Red! It's so true, and anyone who believes otherwise, is fooling themselves.
Marriage is one test after another, and it isn't all 'Peachy keen', there is a hell of a lot of work involved, in making it work, and forever!?! WOW, that word seems impossible, but I am surely planning on it.
My husband likes to joke. 'Don't worry Shel, forever isn't too long. With 3 daughter's now, and at my age, I won't be alive for too long.' Don't ya just LOVE the optomism?
I was smart enough to be quite mature, at an early age, and declined a marriage proposal at a tender age, when getting pregnant with my 1st son. I KNEW marriage wasn't going to help a relationship, I already forsaw as 'Doomed'.
I knew I wasn't happy with the man, so why would I go and add marriage to that? Just because of children? That is NO reason to get married, though I do believe 200%, always best to be married FIRST, but as well I know, s&it happens, and I have no regrets, except the father himself, haha, but seriously…
Marriage doesn't fix or save a relationship, just as children don't fix or save a relationship. It tests the relationship further, and is NOT something, to ever be enterted into lightly.
Just my 2 cents, but a great post there Red. You nailed it. Hot pic to! Love it. Makes me want to get up and dance:)
xoxo Shelly
http://www.twinpossible.com