The Redhead Riter

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Chuckle of the Day – Funny Medical Terms with their Redneck Definitions

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redneck southern men black and white

I guess we should start with…

Term: Redneck
Definition: What you get if you stay in the sun too long without sunblock

🙂

I found quite a few of these medical terms with their redneck definitions very funny.

Medical Term: Aerobe
Definition: A garment worn around the house

Medical Term: Alimentary
Definition: What Sherlock Holmes said to Dr. Watson

Medical Term: Artery
Definition: The study of paintings

Medical Term: Bacteria
Definition: Back door to cafeteria

Medical Term: Barium
Definition: What doctors do when patients die

Medical Term: Benign
Definition: What you be after you be eight

Medical Term: Caesarean Section
Definition: A neighborhood in Rome

Medical Term: Carpal
Definition: Someone you drive to work with

Medical Term: Castrate
Definition: The going price for setting a fracture

Medical Term: Cat scan
Definition: Searching for Kitty

Medical Term: Cauterize
Definition: Made eye contact with her

Medical Term: Colic
Definition: A sheep dog

Medical Term: Coma
Definition: A punctuation mark

Medical Term: Cyst
Definition: To give someone a helping hand

Medical Term: Denial
Definition: Where Cleopatra used to swim

Medical Term: Dilate
Definition: To live long

Medical Term: Dislocation
Definition: Here

Medical Term: Duct
Definition: What you do to avoid being hit

Medical Term: Elixir
Definition: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone

Medical Term: Enema
Definition: Not a friend

Medical Term: Fester
Definition: Quicker than someone else

Medical Term: Fibula
Definition: A small lie

Medical Term: G.I. Series
Definition: World Series of military baseball.

Medical Term: Impotent
Definition: Distinguished, well known

Medical Term: Inbred
Definition: The best way to eat bologna

Medical Term: Intubate
Definition: What a fisherman is

Medical Term: Labor Pain
Definition: Getting hurt at work

Medical Term: Medical Staff
Definition: A Doctor’s cane

Medical Term: Morbid
Definition: A higher offer

Medical Term: Nitrates
Definition: Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days

Medical Term: Node
Definition: I knew it

Medical Term: Orifice
Definition: A place of business

Medical Term: Outpatient
Definition: A person who has fainted

Medical Term: Pelvis
Definition: Second cousin to Elvis

Medical Term: Platelet
Definition: A saucer

Medical Term: Post Operative
Definition: A letter carrier

Medical Term: Recovery Room
Definition: Place to do upholstery

Medical Term: Rectum
Definition: Nearly killed him

Medical Term: Secretion
Definition: Hiding something

Medical Term: Seizure
Definition: Roman Emperor

Medical Term: Tablet
Definition: A small table

Medical Term: Terminal Illness
Definition: Getting sick at the airport

Medical Term: Thorax
Definition: Weapon of a Norse God

Medical Term: Tumor
Definition: One plus one more

Medical Term: Urine
Definition: Opposite of you’re out

Medical Term: Urinate
Definition: If you had better hair you’d be a 10

Medical Term: Varicose
Definition: Near by/close by.

Medical Term: Vein
Definition: Conceited

Medical Term: Vitamin
Definition: What you do when friends stop by to visit

Medical Term: Xrayed
Definition: For adult audiences only

Which was your favorite medical term and funny definition?

I think I like “Vitamin” the best. Yep, that’s what you do…just vitamin!

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  3. Hey! I just wanted to send you a note. I’m a retired nurse and I really enjoyed your post. That is not why I wanted to contact you though. I absolutely love reading your blog! It is so beautiful and thoughtful. I can tell it actually comes from your heart. You seem to put a lot of thought and personal feelings into your posts. Thank you for the warm feeling I get from your blog, sometimes funny, sometimes insightful. Keep up the great work.

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    • Joy, thank you so much! I do put a whole lot of myself in my writing in hopes to help others and record my life lessons for my sweet daughter. I’m so glad you find it inviting and enjoyable. {{{{hugssss}}}

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  4. OMG!!! Too, too, too, too, too, too funny! Did I say too, too, too, too, too, too funny? Well, it was too, too, too, too, too, too funny! 🙂

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  6. I have been reading a lot of blogs lately, but none of them actually have real humor to them. Thank you so much. I haven’t seen a button where I could post to Facebook. If I am missing it, please tell me where it is. You are hilarious.

    Reply