It is the caring warmth bubbling inside the soul’s well that flows, spills and surrounds people with whom we want to share our lives.
This wonderful feeling and emotion is a gift that we freely wrap in a beautiful package with a big bow and give to others.
A simple emotion that gets complicated.
Just a little word with four letters.
Love.
After receiving this beautiful gift, it requires attention and sacrifice. Being able to love someone unconditionally creates a bond more powerful than anything man can create or invent.
Love spans distance, space and time.
Love is kind, sweet, giving, selfless, gentle, peaceful, grateful, empathetic, graceful and endless.
My mind has been a chaotic mess, not so much because I know that Dad is dieing, but because he was suffering excruciating pain.
As his doctor told me, today was an “eventful” day for Dad. However, this afternoon they have connected him to a morphine drip and given him power to press the button to release more medication as the pain resurfaces. He has regained some power, dignity and a little relief.
I have reflected on the essence of love today. My focus and concern has been with getting him some peace for his disease ridden body.
Today I accepted that Dad is dieing and my heart aches for all the opportunities of sharing love that we will be unable to experience. His time in this mortal existence is nearly over and apparently mine is not.
Cancer is ravaging his body and consuming everything it can touch.
Is there a greater lesson for him to learn and is there a lesson that I should also be learning?
Death makes life feel more precious, fragile and important.
I have a habit that drives most people crazy, but today I am thankful for being me. When an event occurs that “could” make another person feel guilty if I were to float into Heaven the next day, I say something like…
“If I die and go to Heaven tomorrow, you don’t have to feel guilty for blah-blah. I love you and (pick the appropriate wording) “forgive you, am proud of you, will always be grateful to you, etc.”
I do not want to leave this planet and cause another more pain than “missing me” pain. Of course, some might be happy to see me go!!!
Many years ago I insisted on having one of these conversations with Dad. I could tell that he did not want to discuss any of the things of which I spoke, but because he loves me, he listened. Eventually, he opened up and spoke freely. I encouraged his conversation and comforted him as he wept.
I gave Dad the gift of forgiveness that day and in so doing, a peaceful bonding love emerged between us. We all make mistakes and I do not have the right to judge him nor do I want to do so. I just want to love and be loved by him. He gave me all of himself that he could give and it was enough.
So today I know that Dad feels just as I do. There is no urgent last second apology required and each “I love you” is just a little bit more icing on our cake.
I love my dad and sorry that he must bear this pain. I am comforted knowing that eventually “this too shall pass.” When he steps from this mortal existence, he will hurt no more.
Dad. Three letters that go nicely with four other letters. Love. There’s enough love bubbling inside our two souls to span the distance between Heaven and Earth.
That is something for which I am truly grateful.
Now, this is the way to love. Beautiful.
Lisa
Beautiful post & so true ~ wishing you continued peace…
Hey Gal! I added your dad and your family to my Prayer Line. I also lifted him up in prayer at church tonight. I wish I could be there for you to lean on. Family is fantastic, but sometimes someone that's not so close to the situation (because you ALL are hurting) can help more, just to be there to lend a shoulder to cry on, or to be a sounding board for you to "vent".
God Bless1
PJ
My heart is not suppose to skip beats before 8 in the morning. Thank you for this post.
You are such a special writer.
Prayers and LOVE
Jules
Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
so well written… 😉
Thank you for the sharing and for the reminder in your post. I think grief can be gentler when we know that all the important things were spoken and our feelings conveyed to our loved ones. What a gift given between your father and yourself. xx
Touching post. Continued prayers for your Dad, his pain, and your family 🙂
You Rote that beautifully!!
I will keep you and him in my prayers! So I take it he is at an advanced stage… eh? I'm so sorry! I know you'll cherish the time you have with him, It's so good that you have gotten anything that could have been regrets out and over with. That will help the process for both of you tremendously. I did not have that with my dad and I do so wish we could have had the chance to resolve some things. You are a HUGE step ahead of most. You are brilliant that way!! Love and ((HUGS))!!
what a wonderfully written post. So sorry for all the hardships and hoping everyone finds peace soon.
This is nothing else to say….you not only have said the right things, you have done the right things.
We don't march through life resolute in our path. Instead we stumble and sometimes grab at the most convenient or self-satisfying or stupidest routes. Usually the direction we stumble causes hurt and so we turn to the wrong direction which multiplies the problem. We probably didn't mean to take that particular path, but we don't want to be seen as foolish.
It is hard to turn another direction. Your talk with your Dad guided him to the correct path and you both were rewarded.
I am terribly sorry for the situation now. I am in awe at your true understanding of what life in love is all about.