Wearing A Dress And High Heels To A Wedding – 10 Things NOT To Wear To A Wedding

I’m a bulky sweater, pajamas, flannel shirt, blue jeans, long johns, socks, boots and sneakers kind of woman. A slinky dress, silky hose and six inch heels are completely opposite to my normal clothing. However there are times when it isn’t appropriate to wear my jeans or casual business attire. Since I needed to attend a wedding a few weeks ago, it was one of those times that I had to abandon the comfortable clothes for an outfit that proves I have legs that hide under my jeans.

The first order of business was a shopping trip for something appropriate to wear. As I scoured the store racks, eventually I found a dress that I thought looked suitable and was quite thrilled to find that it was a SALE dress that to my delight was further discounted on the price tag. Even more exciting was there was another discount given at the cash register. Oh yes, the dress was DRASTICALLY REDUCED and I only had to pay $29.99.

I know, it’s shocking.

$29.99 for a slinky, form fitting dress appropriate for a wedding.

I’m still quite thrilled that I found such a wonderful sale.

Although posting pictures of myself makes me as uncomfortable as a bed full of pine cones, I’m going to post them anyway because I’ve already used parts of them as my new blog and Facebook headers and avatar.

Yes, I’m stiff because I don’t know where to put my arms and hands while “posing” for a picture.

Looking straight at the camera didn’t do much for me, so I decided to look away, but I still didn’t figure out what to do with my hands nor did I smile.

Ahhhh, yes, a picture that I’m comfortable with and the pose was easy! Although the shoes made my height six feet two inches, it was a breeze to walk in them…for short periods of time. I’m really not used to shoes that high, so they made my feet tired. BUT the shoes ROCK and I LOVE them!

Now a close up with me staring right at you! Eyes green. Eye shadow just a hint of green. Dress green. Leaves all around green. Green eggs and ham! No wait! Wrong story! LOL

The wedding was beautiful and I didn’t feel like an old hag attending it, so I guess that makes my outfit a success. Now every time I see myself in the green, I’m going to be thinking $29.99! Yes!

For a “non-shopper,” you have to admit that I did pretty good getting the dress on a super duper sale.

Now let’s get to the good stuff…

10 Things Not To Wear To A Wedding

I think everyone will agree that there are some outfits you just shouldn’t wear to a wedding. So here is a short list of 10 things you should NOT wear to a wedding if you are the guest.

1. A white dress – There are thousands of other colors, so under no circumstances do you ever wear a white dress to a wedding unless you are the bride.
2. A sparkly movie star dress – This is a wedding, not the Oscars. You are not walking the red carpet to get an award. You are there to watch two people get married. Stay focused on the purpose of this event.
3. A bathing suit – Um, no.
4. As much makeup as a clown – Makeup can be tastefully applied, but if you put on so much that you start to look like a clown, you’ve gone too far.
5. A dress that is so short your butt cheeks hang out – I think this one is self-explanatory unless you want me to describe it as a hoochie mama dress.
6. A hoodie – I’m the first to say that hoodies are FANTASTIC, but they are not intended to be worn to weddings.
7. No bra and a neckline that reveals too much of both girls – That means do NOT let TOO MUCH of your boobs show by having them flopping everywhere.
8. A sheer dress – Don’t let your imagination run amok. I believe this could either be called hoochie mama or stripper clothes. LOL
9. Prints that are loud and overwhelming – Big flower dresses and shirts are normal in Hawaii, but not to weddings in the rest of the United States.
10. A bulky sweater, pajamas, flannel shirt, blue jeans, long johns, socks, boots and sneakers – Did that sound familiar? Yep, it is my normal attire and they are not to be worn to weddings.



That brings us back full circle to my slinky dress, silky hose and six inch heels.

Now that the wedding is over, those clothes are all packed away and I’m back in front of the computer wearing…

Yep. Pajamas.

Sexy knit blue pajamas with little sheep on them. Hot, hot, hot! (laughing my head off)