When Alyssa and Brittany were young, I used to say that they were little germ factories. They freely shared ever virus, flu and affliction with me even though I didn’t ask for their generosity.
Last month I learned 25 things from having the flu which started with some germs that Alyssa so graciously shared with me. I tried hard to NOT make it her fault, but in the end, I had to blame her.
With the flu so rampant everywhere, I washed my hands constantly, didn’t touch my face and stayed away from people. Where and how did I pick up the germ? Well, it was either because I kissed Alyssa or because I touched something IN MY HOME that she had previously touched with her flu infected hands. So I have to blame my catching the flu entirely on my little 20 year old blond child.
This Weekend
I had a marvelous weekend. I didn’t even mind too much that the weather was PER-FECT spring like weather instead of perfect fluffy, white winter snow. I kept the windows opened, talked to Mr. Potato Head, loved on Bella, my adorable red toy poodle, waved frequently at super intelligent Turtle across the room, went shopping and even shaved without killing myself which is definitely a great accomplishment.
However…
Yes! However!
I mean with a title like, “A Surgical Mask And The Foggy Glasses” you MUST be expecting some kind of fiasco! Don’t forget, I AM notorious for having things happen to me.
When Alyssa called me at work last month and said, “Please help me. I have the flu,” I left work immediately. On the way home, I stopped and purchased a package of surgical masks thinking that I would be protected from the flu. Little did I know that I already had it and would be sicker than a dog in less than six hours.
Obviously, the surgical masks were not used…then…because we both shared the same horrid flu.
So now we get to this weekend which is a whole month after the flu incident. I was happily washing dishes and cleaning all the surfaces of my kitchen. I had the windows open and “I Want Your Love” by Chic, “Murder My Heart” and “Missing You” by Michael Bolton were playing LOUDLY over and over again. Alyssa wasn’t home, so I’m “allowed” to let my music OCD thrive.
The Conversation
(blempybabo blempybabo) My cell phone made the texting sound.
I dried my hands, pushed the dilapidated button on my Blackberry and the following conversation ensued:
Alyssa: “I think I got food poisoning. I’ve been throwing up and I can’t keep even water down. What do I do”
Me: “Go to Patient First NOW!”
Alyssa: “Why? What will they do?”
Me: “Don’t ask for my opinion if u aren’t going to do it. U can die. They will help”
Alyssa: “Mom will u please just tell me what they’ll do for me bc I don’t think they can do anything other than tell me I should go to the hospital if I can’t keep liquids down.”
(rolling my eyes)
Me: “Wrong. They won’t send u to the hosp!!!”
Alyssa: “Are you sure? Bc I refuse to go to hospital”
Me: “Yessssssssssssssssss”
Alyssa: “Ok I’ll go”
(Sheesh! What a hardheaded girl! I have no idea where she got that trait.)
Me: “Good girl”
A few minutes later…
Alyssa: “I’m getting meds. Stomach virus. I’m bringing u a mask to wear and mine too.”
Me: “WHAT!!!!!!!”
Alyssa: “She said its a 24 hour bug that’s been going around. You just all of a sudden get violently ill”
Me: “HELL!!!!!!!! Go away LOL”
(Wasn’t that so motherly of me? I was only teasing…kind of…LOL)
Alyssa: “No. I really just need my mom and Bella”
Me: “LOL ok”
The Foggy Glasses
Although I’m such a young thang, I still have to wear glasses to see what I’m typing on the computer monitor. With each warm breath I take under this mask, the warm air leaks through the top of the mask and creates a fog on my glasses. In order to SEE through my glasses, I have to breathe in (fog leaves my glasses), quickly read the words on the computer monitor and then breathe out (fog on glasses) again.
Breathing just became an Olympic event.
It isn’t an easy task! I think I’m going to tape the mask to my face up by my eyes so that the warm air can’t come out.
Do you know how silly I look sitting here reading between the fogged and unfogged lens of my glasses?
Yeah, well, you’ll have to imagine it because my vanity wouldn’t let me post the ridiculous looking photo.
R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.
LOL!!! I love that you’re fogging your glasses! I do that a lot – even without a mask! & I invariably fog the windshield in my car within 2 minutes on a cold day – & all the other windows in another couple of minutes! …let’s face it- we’re a couple of fiery, hot-blooded folks! 😀 …& I don’t even have your excuse – I’m not a redhead! 😛
hope Alyssa gets well soon, & you don’t get sick! obviously, the sooner you can get rid of the mask, the better!!! 😉
Alyssa got up this morning weak, but much better. I guess the 24 hour bug is really only 24 hours!
So you are a car fogger?! LOL
yup, I sure am!
you too??? 😀
On special occasions 😉
WooooooHoooooooooooo!!! 😀
Shhhhhhh…don’t tell anyone. 😉
No, I have no idea how ridiculous you look wearing the surgical mask, but I can tell you that your thigh in your blue jeans looks smokin’ slim! And is that your signature red flannel, black paid shirt that you’re wearing? 🙂
Hope Alyssa gets well soon and that you don’t come down with the 24 hour bug either! As a precaution to not catching the 24 hour bug myself, I put on a surgical mask to read your post. Do you have any idea how ridiculous I look wearing a surgical mask to read your post? 🙂
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh Joan! I think that is the funniest comment you have ever made! I can’t hardly type because I’m laughing so hard!!!!
Oh, but thank you about the slim thigh comment! 😉
I used to wear that same red flannel plaid shirt all the time – but since I’ve moved south, it would be way too hot to wear, same as my wonderful winter coats & hats… haven’t worn them in ages, except when I spent xmas in Connecticut with my brother & his family…
yeah, nice slim thigh! 😉
Until Joan mentioned it, I didn’t even notice my leg in the pic! LOL Thank you 😀
A mask for a stomach virus?? Hmmm… learn something every day 🙂
I bought a box of masks during the time of the bird flu pandemic, I now use them when I’m sanding, painting or cleaning out the basement.
Alyssa said that the two nurses came in the room, asked her what the problem was, immediately left the room and then came back with masks on their faces. LOL It is highly contagious!
The masks are GREAT when you do house projects and some crafts that have stinky paints or glue. 😀
I had to go back to see your leg!! lol.
If your glasses fogged up, you had it too cool in there!!! I used to fix my glasses at work with hot water and that stopped the fog. Oh the simple minded mom.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that missed my leg. LOL
I do like it cold. I keep the temperature around 71F in here and the air coming outta my nose was MUCH warmer.