Naked vs. Nude. What Is The Difference? (Chuckle)

*GASP*

Bare with me for a minute.

Wait!

I meant to say, bear with me for a minute.

Although, if you are the chocolate man, I would be happy to have you bare with me for lots of minutes. Just saying! I’m trying to be very honest and only give you the raw truth.

What Is The Definition Of Naked?

Let’s start with naked first.

No! Not you!

(hiding my eyes)

Put your clothes back on. I can’t talk to you if I know you are sitting in front of the computer without your clothes covering your body. While reading this post you can’t be au naturel!

The definition of naked is:

• not covered by clothing
• devoid of customary or natural covering
• not enclosed in a scabbard (a sheath for a sword, dagger, or bayonet)
• not provided with a shade
• of a plant or one of its parts, lacking pubescence or enveloping or subtending parts
• lacking foliage or vegetation
• of an animal or one of its parts, lacking an external covering (as of hair, feathers, or shell)
• scantily supplied or furnished
• lacking embellishment and unadorned
• unarmed, defenseless
• lacking confirmation or support
• devoid of concealment or disguise
• unaided by any optical device or instrument
• not backed by the writer’s ownership of the commodity contract or security

OH MY GOODNESS! Did you realize that naked had that many definitions?

Let me sum it up a bit. If a person is naked, it means that they are not wearing any clothes and they are exposed in such a way that they feel sexually exposed, embarrassed, exploited, helpless or defenseless. Naked is a deprivation of covering and not a desirable condition to find oneself.

So when you’re in the hospital wearing that gown thingy that is split all the way up the back, it could be said that your buttocks is naked and in full view for all the hospital patrons to see! Of course, some of those people are buff and enjoy being in the buff. Does that mean they are naked since they aren’t embarrassed?

Phew! Let’s not think about buff men in the buff.

(fanning myself with the notebook that holds all my computer passwords)

What Is The Definition Of Nude?

There are not as many meanings for the word nude in comparison to naked. The definition of nude is:

• lacking something essential especially to legal validity
• devoid of a natural or conventional covering; not covered by clothing or a drape
• of the color of a person’s flesh by giving the appearance of nudity
• featuring nudes
• frequented by naked people
• a representation of a nude human figure

Let me get this right. If a person is nude, they are not wearing any clothes, but they are in a location or condition where they feel very comfortable. Being nude is natural and therefore a nude body is naturally beautiful so there is no reason for embarrassment.

That means when a woman strips off the sexy lingerie to add excitement and spice to her love life, she is nude (naturally beautiful).

Okay. Well, then all those statues, sculptures and figurines that my mother has in her home are of nude people too. Actually, some of them are cherubs, but we all know that unclothed boys with wings do not exist. I still haven’t figured out why she likes them so much.

Naked vs. Nude. What Is The Difference?

People use the words naked and nude interchangeably all the time. So are the words that different in meaning?

Yes!

Both naked and nude mean that the human body is without clothes and covering, but nude is powerful educated art and naked is an unclothed, uncomfortable, helpless condition.

Let’s see. No! Not literally! I do not want to see you in your birthday suit. Why do you keep trying to strip?! Just because I will strip for a mango doesn’t mean that you have to expose yourself for this post.

(blushing profusely)

Hmmm…I was just thinking. When you go to bed at night and you don’t have a stitch on, would you be naked or nude?

(thoughtful pause)

I got the answer! You wouldn’t be naked or nude. When you go to bed at night without any clothes on, you are nekkid.

“Nekkid” is a very Southern word and it means that you hain’t got no clothes on AND are up to sumfin’ mischievous, titillating and usually sexually provocative.

Uh huh.

You’re so naughty.

Chuckle Of The Day – Pa Sleeps Naked

“Late again,” the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.

“It ain’t my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this’un on my Daddy. The reason I’m three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!”

Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.

“You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma’s best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, “That coyote’s back again, I’m a gonna git him!”

“Stay back, he whispered to all us kids!”

“He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop.”

“As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking’ up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy’s crack!”

“Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin’ chickens since three o’clock this mornin’!”

😀

So let me give you a visual image, a naked one, that will linger with you today.

Truly, it is a picture you probably won’t ever forget.