The police burst through my front door ripping it off the hinges and sending the frame flying across the room. They were all screaming at delayed intervals, “Get on the floor! Put your hands behind your back!” At least twenty guns were pointing my direction.
Bella and I had been quietly sitting on the couch watching NCIS with Mark Harmon while my hair was being pampered with my special grain free intensive hair moisturizer. Of course, I was in my pajamas, wearing no makeup and my hair was covered with plastic and a headband to finish the “I hope no one ever sees me look like this” ensemble.
The police had immediately scattered throughout my home after breaking and entering. I sat quite shocked on the couch, holding a shaking Bella closely and I did not comply with their screamed demands to get on the floor.
Finally the lead policeman stopped yelling so loudly and I said, “What exactly are you doing here?” in as calm a tone as possible.
Just about then a policeman who had been in another room entered the living room holding the small container from my bathroom.
“Here it is Sir,” he said to the lead policeman as the container was handed off.
Holding it up to me, he said in a smug tone, “THIS is what we are doing here.”
“You want my Arm & Hammer Baking Soda?” I asked a bit confused.
“Yeah, right Thelma,” the lead policeman said sarcastically.
“Thelma?” I asked.
“Thelma Robinson, you are under arrest.”
I laughed. “Well, first of all, my name is Sherry Riter and THAT is baking soda,” I said pointing to the container of powder.
A brown haired policeman stepped forward and opened the container, “tested” a bit with a clear liquid and then looked at the lead policeman.
“Sir, she is right. This is baking soda.”
Without asking for permission, they had rummaged through my purse and confiscated my Driver’s License which verified that I was not Thelma. I glared at all of them with my makeup free eyes.
“There are several things you need to do right now,” I said to the lead policeman without breaking my stare. “Call my security company and tell them that the reason my alarm went off and I didn’t answer the phone was because you made a huge mistake. Also make sure I am not charged for a false alarm. Then you need to repair my door immediately because not only is it freezing cold in here, but I can’t put Bella down or she will run out AND it is very unsafe not to have a lockable door on my home. I also want a formal written apology for breaking into my home, going through my belongings and terrifying me.”
Baking Soda Is Great For Brushing Your Teeth
I have a cute little jar that I keep Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in for the express purpose of brushing my teeth, so I leave it in my bathroom. You may be thinking, “Ewwww, baking soda tastes terrible!” Let me assure you, I love baking soda!
To brush your teeth with baking soda, run your toothbrush under the water. Then dip the wet toothbrush in the baking soda. The toothbrush will be coated with baking soda. Then put the toothbrush on your teeth (not your gums) and start brushing. The baking soda will turn into a loose paste. After brushing all your teeth, brush your tongue until it is pink again. If you don’t really like the taste of baking soda, follow it with regular toothpaste.
The reasons to use baking soda to brush your teeth are:
- Baking soda brushing removes light stains on teeth.
- Baking soda makes teeth whiter.
- Baking soda is abrasive enough to remove plaque/tartar and keep it at a manageable level.
- Baking soda leaves the mouth feeling fresh and clean.
- Brushing with baking soda helps to give you great breath.
- Brushing with baking soda kills germs and protects the mouth against bacteria that causes tooth decay and/or gum disease.
- Baking soda is an inexpensive product, but does a great job.
I have a wild imagination sometimes and I’ve probably watched too many crime shows. So although I’ve never experimented with or used “white powdery” illegal drugs, many times when I dip my toothbrush into the little jar of baking soda so that I can brush my teeth, a wild story like the one I just shared with you starts forming in my mind. My teeth are being cleaned while my mind is making up crazy police stories about white powdery substances that turn out to be just baking soda. There’s really never a dull moment in my head, but I guess that’s why I enjoy being a writer. Although it didn’t happen, it does SOUND realistic and could really happen!
What can I say except that I have an active imagination and very clean teeth.
ROTFL!!! yup… you’ve got a great imagination, Thelma!!! 😀
I watch NCIS regularly, but not while pampering my hair 🙂 I’ve never imagined a raid like yours – but then, who knows??? if I were to start using baking soda to clean my teeth, I just might! 😛
You might!!!! LOL 😀
Excellent, excellent, excellent.
Thank ya! Thank ya! Thank ya!
LOL! OMG Sherry you had me riveted…way to go! I watched the latest episode of NCIS last night and it was just as good! As for baking soda, I can’t abide the natural taste so I use the actual paste, sometimes! 🙂
LOL “sometimes” LOL
I’m so glad I had you riveted! That makes me feel so good! 😀 Thank you!
Soda mixed with peroxide makes a bleaching compound for your teeth.
Your imagination is always great, lol but if you remember, we experienced 6 officers in Texas who burst through my door at home. Brittany was playing with my phone in the bedroom and somehow by chance put in my panic code. I have never forgotten that feeling with all guns drawn and so many coming in the living room. LOL, I ask Britt, “Were you playing with Nannys phone?” and she said Yes!! I sure watched my phone when she was there after that. I can still see you sitting at the dining room table with that look of shock on your face, lol lol lol
I had TOTALLY forgotten that time with Brittany! Well, the police thankfully didn’t break down your door, but they did react quickly when they thought we were in danger. That was always very comforting. I love men in uniforms. LOL LOL LOL
Wouldn’t mind my front door getting kicked in by policewomen in starched crisp uniforms… that way I get a free new door!
😉
LOL What a crazy way to get a new door!
I think I know you too well! While reading about the policemen breaking down your front door and entering, I thought to myself, “She’s making this up!” But by the end of reading how the policemen had made a mistake and thought that the baking soda was cocaine, I was laughing my head off. And then picturing Bella shaking with fright, I thought to myself, “This story is so crazy that it actually could have happened!” I suddenly changed my mind and believed that this story had happened to you. But then when you switched over from this pure drama of the police breaking into your house, to suddenly telling us how to brush our teeth with baking soda I KNEW YOU WERE PULLING OUR LEGS! But what a great way to have our legs pulled! 🙂
LOL LOL LOL I needed a powerful segue to baking soda and teeth, so why not tell about the stories that go on in my crazy brain while I’m brushing? I’m not going to suffer alone! LOL
Hey Red! LOL! That shows how gullible I am! I actually was getting all worked up because I thought it happened! LOL!
Love ya!
PJ
Good! LOL I was hoping everyone would believe it at least for a few minutes! I’m bad. LOL
I believed it too! I thought it could have happened in this day and age. But I was waiting for them to throw you down on the floor and handcuff you, while Bella was yapping nonstop. Then the police detective, who had a close resemblance to George Clooney, would have you saying, “Yes, Officer, if you must search me, please cover Bella’s eyes.”
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness! I just laughed out loud and nearly choked! LOL
Yeah… I knew you were making the story up when you failed to cooperate, and the SWAT team in response did not cuff you and shoot Bella. Not fun, and left me with a knot in my chest the size of a grapefruit. 🙁
-TimK
LOL If you knew I was making it up, why in the world did you get a knot in your stomach?! LOL
Also, you think I would cooperate after they bust down my door? LOL Actually, I think I would be hopping mad! Hopping redhead mad and that isn’t a pretty thing. LOL