As I walked into the front door of my home at around 8:45 p.m. tonight, I was reminded of the fact that I spend most of my life working. When my nose has been on the grindstone all day and it is this late, I sure don’t feel like eating or doing much of anything else for that fact.
All week long I have sat in front of a computer and worked on stuff like Excel spreadsheets. They are a bit more interesting than the one I have in the photo, but to people like my daughter or mother, they would be equally as boring. That aspect of it all rather cracks me up. I’m so nerdy like that and they both are so much the opposite.
Anyway, after working all day until really late, I then come home and immediately sit down at my computer and start working again. I’m just loads and loads of excitement aren’t I? So much so that you are probably gripping your seat and wishing we could trade lives.
As the thoughts rolled around in my mind, I started to feel a bit depressed which I’m sure was exacerbated by the fact that I’m super tired and there are a million boxes all around the room. So I thought I would take just a minute to let you know my upcoming schedule.
Starting October 24th, I will be moving and will actually be using my vacation time from work to get it all done. I hope to be completely moved in by October 28th so that I will have time to recover before going back to my job. The week I get back to work, they will announce who no longer has a job because of the lay off. ***terrifying***
I’m hoping to have posts pre-written and automatically post while I’m working my butt off and moving. With all the stuff on my list that still has to get finished, I’m desperately trying not to use the words shoulda, coulda and woulda. Instead, I remind myself that I have not only been physically sick, but my poor PTSD brain has not been top notch either. So I am remaining kind to myself especially as I listen to my therapist’s words echo in my head.
You know, looking back, I know that I’ve come a long way in the past two and a half years. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been filled with that much happiness. It has been extremely depressing. However…I am still here even if I’m all work, no play and a dull girl. I survived and my new life will start very shortly. A life that I didn’t envision for myself, but nevertheless, it is going to be my life. The real question is, “What exactly am I going to do with this life as I live all alone day in and day out?” I guess time will tell.
I’m definitely going to bed now. In the twenty seconds it takes for me to fall asleep, I will think about…the chocolate man. That’s definitely a sweet dream. Ummm…I said I was extremely tired, not dead. 😉
I lived single for 35 years and I was a very happy person. You live your life one day at a time Sherry, the Tomorrow will take care of itself. You get to start over every morning fresh, a new day, a new life. How much better can it be then that? What messed up yesterday is gone!!! Cannot change it, so let it go. Trying to fix something from yesterday only gets it more messy and makes it worse plus you mess up today!!! I look forward to your move since we will be in hollering distance. LOL, Yes a Carolina word!!! Bless you my child, for you are special and I am blessed to be your mom
Thanks Mom.
Ohhh, I loved your mom’s advice! It was spot on! Your mom is right – “Tomorrow will take care of itself. You get to start over every morning fresh, a new day, a new life. How much better can it be then that? What messed up yesterday is gone!!! Cannot change it, so let it go.”
Thanks Mom for reminding us all to live for today and the future will take care of itself. It always does! I love Mark Twain’s quote, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” 🙂
Yes, I knew you would love her comment. LOL
You are very special, Ms Sherry. Everyone gets run down by overwork and anxiety; and life has a way of occasionally compounding itself all at once on our spirit, when we are feeling weak and tired. I’ve been there myself, facing being alone the rest of my life, and wondering just how I’d manage. Sometimes I wonder that still.
But I have friends who care; not many, but they do care. Online and in the real world, there’s people who I interact with who at least keep me laughing and distracted from myself, and that gives me hope and courage even when I am not realizing their gift to me. It is very apparent you have a very loving and caring mother and family. Your daughter, just like my own children, are grown, and believe it or not, she is grateful for the strength you have taught her and continue to in the face of uncertainty and self doubt.
You’re going to be okay, k?
I’m praying for you and will be around to keep you distracted and laughing with and at me. Don’t over do your physical limits though, k? That more than anything else always creates a situation where minor things become more than what they really are.
What are you going to do with your life, you ask?
You’re going to live, love, and laugh, and savor every minute of it. Just let yourself be you and do that.
With Affection and support,
Ric
Thank you, Ric. I appreciate the prayers and sweet words. You are very kind. I also appreciate you making me laugh because I love to laugh!
I will try hard to remember what everyone is saying to me. Thank you.
Wow, you are getting a lot of good advice today! I also loved what Ric said when you wondered what you are going to do with your life. He said, “You’re going to live, love, and laugh, and savor every minute of it.” You have some very wise readers! 🙂
Yes, I did and I really appreciate it too! Of course I have wise readers! My readers are the best on the internet! 😀
I don’t read a lot of blogs. Occasionally I pick one up off some news feed, compared to yours, which I read daily, opinion pieces which compared to yours, which deal with actual life, laughing, and overcoming adversity, mere rants designed to inflame responses and more negativity.
I read YOUR blog.
DAILY.
Because you’re not dull! You give me hope, laughter, and support!
And I intend to reciprocate!
I feel HONORED! Thank you! {{{hugssss}}}
Sherry,
I strongly recommend you read your mothers advice (comment) daily. It is the best advice possible. I have been down similar roads it appears you are on and finally realized that dwelling on past experiences and/or mistakes are destructive. Although I am quite old, I have remarried and living the happiest days of my life. You have the same thing to look forward to, but don’t be hasty.
Think of a new meaning of “responsibility” (response-ability). You have the ability to choose your response to everything. Always attempt to stay on the positive side. Your mother is correct, you are special because god does not make any junk.
Thank you so much, Mike. I hadn’t ever thought of “responsibility” like that, but you’re so right. It is a totally different way of looking at it. Maybe that is part of my “scare” in the whole situation. I have always been the “caregiver” and I don’t know how not to be. Does that make sense?
I really appreciate your advice and sweet words. {{{hugsss}}}
Wow, another great comment! Mike said, “Think of a new meaning of “responsibility” (response-ability). You have the ability to choose your response to everything.” I’m really getting impressed with your reader’s comments!
Redhead Riter, you might just have the smartest readers on the Internet! (Well, of course they’re smart. They read your blog!) 🙂
Redhead Riter, with all these great responses that you are getting from your readers, I really don’t think you need any advice from me! 🙂
Ohhh, but there is just one thing I want to say. LOL When have I only said one thing?
What I want to say is that you said, “I have always been the ‘caregiver’ and I don’t know how not to be.” Well, I would say that your readers today are being the “caregivers” and giving back to you! 🙂
That’s sweet, Joan. I think you are right. Everyone has been very kind and sweet today. I really appreciate all the comments. {{{hugsss}}}
Uh huh. I know better than that…(getting ready for advice from Joan)
I loved Mike’s take on the word responsibility a whole bunch. I actually thought of it several times today while I was working!
I hope your move goes well Sherry and that you are able to settle in and relax soon 🙂
Thank you so much Annie. I can’t wait for it all just to be over. 😀
It makes sense all too well, Sherry.
All too well.
Attempting to distract, lighten the mood, lift Sherry’s spirit and provide a little self-deprecating humor:
Yet Another Engineer Joke
An engineer dies and goes to hell. After a while, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in there and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, hell has air conditioning, flushing toilets, water fountains and escalators – making the engineer a pretty popular guy.
One day God phones Satan up and asks with a sneer: “Hey buddy, how’s it goin down there in hell?”
Satan snickered back, “Things are going great actually. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, escalators and the works. Hell (no pun intended), there’s no telling what this engineer guy is gonna come up with next.”
God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake – he should never have gotten down there; send him back up.”
To which Satan replied, “No way dude. I like having an engineer on staff, I’m keepin him.”
God retorted, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs loudly and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you gonna find a lawyer?”
Cheers, Sherry
Doc
LOL LOL LOL Too funny!
We should dream of retirement ;). Spreadsheets make me itch! I wish you a smooth move (that didn’t sound right..hehe) to your new home and time to rest before returning to work. Here’s a muscle man to help you with the move (Not sure if the link will work 🙂
LOL LOL LOL Yeah, the link worked. I don’t think that tiny little muscle smiley is going to help much with the move! LOL LOL
Thank you Bev!!!!