One of the advantages of teaching your children to do their own laundry is that there is less laundry for the mom and/or dad to do! That is such a lovely plan. Not only have I successfully taught my daughter a valuable skill that will enable her to have clean clothes for herself and family some day, but now I only have to worry about keeping my own laundry clean! There are times, however, that I give Alyssa a hand and tonight was one of those days she needed my help.
Alyssa has fingers and toes like her father which also means that she is prone to ingrown toenails on her big toes. She is still angry that her father gave her his toes and doesn’t forgive me for letting him. Well, he didn’t really give her HIS toes, but her father gave Alyssa toes that are a feminine duplicate of his own toes. I really had nothing to do with it! 😛
Last year Alyssa had to have one fourth of the entire side of one toenail removed and the doctor killed the nail bed on that side so that she wouldn’t ever get another ingrown toenail…on THAT toe. Alyssa is such a brave and strong person because it HURT, but in Alyssa-style she did what she always tells me to do…she sucked it up. In preparation for living in another state that has tons of snow when she goes to school, Alyssa has some close toed shoes. However, she can’t wear the beautiful shoes and boots because the toe on the OTHER foot would get ingrown toenails. Today that ended. Alyssa had one fourth of the entire side of the OTHER big toenail removed which is the reason that I just finished putting her load of clothes in the dryer.
That brings me to the sock.
We all know that the washer and dryer are in cahoots with each other because they eat a sock every now and then. Never do the washer and dryer eat a pair of socks. They always eat just one sock and leave one unmatched sock to drive us all crazy. Somehow one of Alyssa’s colorful socks got mixed with the towels. I’m not sure where the other sock is hiding, but I have been looking at least a month for it. I finally gave up and put it on the end of her bed so the mismatched condition can drive Alyssa crazy for awhile.
The whole missing sock ordeal revealed some things.
- I am so patient that I actually looked ONE MONTH for a brightly colored footie sock that belongs to my nineteen year old daughter. It isn’t my sock!
- Not finding the OTHER sock drove me crazy. (not literally)
- I eventually had to quit trying to find the missing sock.
- I handed the problem over to the person that actually owns the sock.
Give Me Your Best
I don’t do anything halfway. I’m either all the way in or all the way out. Life is just too short to linger in the middle for too long. For one month I diligently searched for Alyssa’s sock. I was steadfast and determined, yet I wasn’t fruitful. I still haven’t found the missing sock.
Sometimes and especially for me right now, it almost feels like we might have said, “Give me your best shot. Go ahead! Sock it to me!” Instead of valiantly and boldly believing that I will not only conquer the situation, but succeed at it, I find myself crumbling hopelessly. Well, I figured out part of the reason why I have this personality trait. I’m afraid of being disappointed and hurt. I guess you thought it was going to be some big revelation like my head was connected to my neck backwards. No, it is really quite simple…I’m afraid of being disappointed and hurt.
Everything I set my mind to accomplish, I give my best shot. I want to have one little success after the next. It makes me feel happy, accomplished and motivated to try more things. But when the situation is not something that I chose to be involved in, like my PTSD, the brave and forward-thinking part of me disappears. I don’t like that part of my personality, but I realized today that I am constantly trying to change that trait in myself. In a roundabout way of thinking, I am valiantly and boldly believing that I will succeed at not being afraid of crumbling hopelessly. Rather ironic, don’t you think?
Conserve, Save And Protect
The heel of a sock or sock footie is pivotal in the construction of the entire sock. The heel only covers a small portion of the foot, but is vital to connecting all the other parts. It is also necessary to have a strong heel construction to hold up against the wear and tear that happens with each step.
The heel bone is a large bone in the foot that is covered by a fat cushion underneath that is called the heel pad. The heel bone holds the body weight when we are standing and bears the impact of walking, running, skipping, hopping and all the other active foot movements we engage in daily. The heel pad is also important because it enables pain-free movement since it is shock absorbing. So the heel of the sock covers and protects this very important body part.
I wear socks all the time, just like many other people. I rely on them to be spongy and to completely cover my entire foot. Unlike Alyssa, I like my socks to also cover my ankles and part of my leg. Socks help to keep my feet warm, safe and dry.
In the happy parts of our lives, we need to develop skills that improve, sustain and motivate us to make good choices. It is also during the happy times that we need to take a bit of our strength and sock it away for when life events get rough. Like the fat cushion protecting the heel bone or the heel of the sock bringing the whole sock together, our ability to succeed in life is strongly influenced by having a cushion of safety that allows us time to bring it all together and in perspective.
Life feels hard for me because the heel of my sock is missing. All the extra power that had been socked away is now depleted. I have patiently searched for solutions just like I persistently searched for Alyssa’s colorful sock. Not having all the answers to these problems have driven me crazy because I feel somewhat powerless in determining my own destiny. Although I haven’t quit trying to solve my problems, I had to give up my daily frantic panic. I humbly admitted to God that since I am His child and this is His planet, I realize that ultimately He has the greater insight and control.
Although my sock has a HUGE hole in the heel, eventually I will have the power, knowledge and skill to darn the hole. That’s when I will sock away the extra vitality I need for the next time life socks it to me. For now, I have a whole lot more confidence and hope in obtaining peace in my life than I do in Alyssa ever finding her other brightly colored, striped footie sock. 😛 Oops! Did I just say that comment?! LOL
Its amazing what we do for our younguns..Even though my oldest son had to move back in with us, he does his own thing but I really felt “not needed anymore” after my youngest moved out in may and got married….This has been a big change for me…Its the little things that I miss the most….and I never ever thought about how much impact the heel takes. thank you for sharing…. And I do hope that that extra little peace of color in your life shows up….soon… Have a wonderful day
Lisa S
“not needed anymore”…Yes, Lisa, that is precisely how it feels and I “need” to feel “needed” and I think you know exactly what I’m feeling.
I’m glad you like the sock analogy!
Hi. It’s me again. I understand completely, and I’m with you. Your analogy of the sock is amusing and so very accurate. (It does drive me crazy when I can’t find the other sock….lol. I actually have a rack set up by the washer where I hang the one, just waiting for nab it’s match.) “They” label of “all or nothing” as a tendancy toward OCD on one side of the coin and depression on the other. To give it your all and attempt to achieve your best is not appropriate and to throw caution to the wind is not correct either. I ask, what is appropriate? “They” can’t seem to anwer my question. Does this surprise me?! I chuckle.
On a more serious note, how do we refuel when we are depleted? I feel that you are smiling and taking a deep breath. Pausing for a moment, allowing yourself to stop punishing yourself. This feels like a luxury, I know. You are so right in pointing out that these are the times we must replenish and rejuvenate. I pray the the moment grows into a minute and so on. My faith is like the tide. However, I’m inpatient. I am well aware that God is so busy, it will just take more time until it’s my turn. I guess that’s why it’s called faith. You have the tools, you have a gift, you will heal!
“On a more serious note, how do we refuel when we are depleted? I feel that you are smiling and taking a deep breath.” I DID smile!!!! Do you have a spy came set up here in my home? LOL
Seriously, you know how to refuel, but it is just too hard right now for you to follow through with it. Just STOP what you are doing and CHANGE. I know, I know…easier said than done. I will be doing the same time as you, but just in a different location so maybe that will help you?
Your kind of patient persistence is a rare, admirable, & valuable trait, one that will help bring you through the ravages of PTSD – even if it can’t succeed in finding a sock that would seem to stand out & scream “Here I am!” no matter where it might be hiding! 😀
{{{huggsss}}}
Thank you, Skip. I sure hope you are right about the PTSD thing. The sock, however, I really believe was eaten by the washing machine. How does that song go?
“One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest,
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do”
Yeah, that sock is going to be lonely forever because we won’t ever find one that matches!
Hang in there girl! Life is going to get better and when it does, we will all shout for joy! You are a sweet lady and those of us who don’t comment, but read daily, have fallen in love with your writing. You are an inspiration with your heart of gold.
Thank you so much, Shelly for your sweet words and for making a comment! I really appreciate it!!! {{{hugsss}}}
Sherry,
Although I’ve never commented, I read your blog every day. When I found your blog, I was so intrigued that I started at the beginning and read every post to the end. You are an intelligent, compassionate, loving, graceful, kind, interesting, creative and beautiful woman. Women like you are rare. Your photos tell a story all by themselves. The depth of your emotion as portrayed in your photography and writing is unrivaled. I foresee wonderful accomplishments in your future and I guarantee that I will be the first one in line to buy your book. I look forward to reading your post every day. The essence of your soul causes me to want to be a better person and I pray for your happiness daily. I hope you can feel the loving care of all the people who are rallying around you even though we don’t comment on your blog. Your photos, your writing and everything about you inspires me.
Patrick
Wow Patrick! That is such a SWEET comment! Thank you so much!!! I’m almost speechless and I’m definitely blushing! Thank you for commenting and I’m so glad that my writing inspires you!
I just got the shock of my life. I opened up my washing machine and found your missing sock in it! Imagine that. I don’t know how it ended up in my washing machine. Oh, well, that’s life, go figure! (I’d like to see your answer to this comment since you say that you respond to all comments !) 🙂
So, I’m waiting, Redhead Riter, for your response.
And waiting!
In the meanwhile, do you want me to mail the sock back to you so that it will once again be a pair?
Yes! (rolling eyes)
Well, since this comment was at 6:58 and so was the last one, you didn’t wait THAT long! LOL
I just made it. LOL
LOL LOL LOL So how did the sock get from Virginia to California?!!!! LOL I wish you did find it because we aren’t ever going to find a match!
Although I think being a pair is highly overrated! 🙂
I love being single! 🙂
Duh! I’ve never known anyone who loves is as much as you do!
Uh huh! YOU would say that about “pairs” LOL