After laying out Bella’s puppy pee pads, I was just looking at the puppy pads box. It is soooooo purple. This box demands attention and refuses to be ignored. In a red square on the side of the box, white lettering spells out two words – Simple Solution. The puppy pee pads ARE a very simple solution when training a dog not to potty on the carpet or floor. They are made with some kind of chemical that is odorless to humans, but is clearly noticeable to dogs and beckons them to “potty here.”
So let me tell you about what happened today…
My brain hurt today.
My heart hurt today.
I felt fear, regret, sadness and hopelessness threatening to eat my soul up. Fighting these emotions is hard, but with my PTSD it is nearly impossible. Actually, most of the time, it IS impossible to keep these emotions at bay, but that doesn’t keep me from trying to do so.
The morning was rough because I was having a hard time waking my brain up. Before I knew it, lunch time arrived. Don, one of the Magnificent Seven had brought me some smoked salmon with Gouda cheese. OH. MY. GOSH. It was so delicious. He often brings food in for us to try, like his homemade deer jerky. Everyone loves that stuff! Anyway, I had a nice surprise for lunch and the conversation in the break room was lively and funny.
There’s a reason I’m telling you about my day, so just bear with me a minute.
After lunch I worked until we had a surprise baby shower for a sweet girl in my department. She looked like she might pop any second and I was so thankful that I wasn’t pregnant. LOL After eating a piece of sugary cake that I shouldn’t have eaten, I worked like crazy until after 6:00 p.m.
Of course, I parked at the VERY back of the parking lot this morning, so I had a LONG walk to the car. As I slowly strolled to the car, I thought about how I walk like my dad. I see so much of my parents in me and literally feel like I have them with me all the time.
Anyway, after a visit to the grocery store, I finally made my way home. Sometime during August I know that my dad was diagnosed with cancer, but I couldn’t remember when until I looked it up on my blog. It was such a heart wrenching post. It was two years ago that Dad heard the horrible news, so obviously my subconscious mind totally remembered the significance of today. The unresolved trauma of my dad’s passing is embedded in my body and that probably had a huge bearing on why I have felt so bad today.
So now I’m still staring at the bright purple puppy pee pads box and the words Simple Solution. I can’t ever remember reading those words on the box before today, but they are boldly showing on the side of the box.
Give Up Or Persevere
People run out of gas in their automobile every day, but after driving for almost thirty four years, I can honestly say that I’ve never run out of gas. One of the things I told my daughter, Alyssa, when she first started driving was that it is just as easy to keep a tank almost full as it is to keep it almost empty. So when the tank gets half empty, fill it up! That means at all times there is plenty of gas in the car. It also means that you won’t run out of gas.
It is just as easy to keep the gas tank half full rather than half empty, and it is just as easy to decide to persevere instead of deciding to give up. Continuing to try gives hope of a better outcome or more positive experiences, but quitting guarantees no reward at all.
Existing on this planet has been very difficult the last two years plus. At one point, I had given up almost completely. I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth. Giving up and totally quitting is what I wanted to do because the fight back to “normal” and “healthy” seemed TOO hard. The journey felt impossible to accomplish.
No matter how you say it – continuing, trying and not giving up – they all mean the same thing…
Persevering. Keeping the pace. Staying the course. Holding tight. Refusing to give up.
7 Reasons To Persevere
When it gets right down to the nitty gritty, I didn’t give up. I’m still here, trying to become whole again. Actually, I’m determined to become whole again.
In all the struggles, heartbreaks, opportunities and trials that we are all going through, there are a few reasons that it will be advantageous for us all to persevere:
- Hard times may last a long time, but eventually they end one way or another.
- Persevering will bring about unknown rewards – things that you can’t foresee.
- You owe it to yourself to go through every experience because you will gain strength, knowledge and understanding that you wouldn’t or couldn’t acquire any other way.
- There is only one you and your life is an example to others. You never know how you will touch another person’s life to help them by sharing your knowledge, wisdom and/or love.
- You are creating a legacy, so you don’t want to just STOP and have nothing to show for the next twenty, thirty, forty or fifty years.
- Persevering is a Simple Solution. It is just as easy to decide to keep trying as it is to hang your head and permanently give up. If you’re going to live…LIVE.
- Perseverance helps us maintain a positive attitude and remain focused on future goals.
So to sum it up…
Alyssa, learn to keep your gas tank always at least half full so that you don’t ever run out of gas.
Dad I miss you, but I see you every day when I look in the mirror.
Dad and Mom, you’re never more than a second away from my heart.
Life is filled with hard experiences.
Deciding to persevere is easy. Following through is hard, but will reap rewards that you can’t even imagine.
Last, but not least…
I’m proud of myself for getting this far. It hasn’t been and isn’t easy, but I’m still here, persevering.
What have you learned by persevering through the hard times in life?
Oh you could not have written anything better to hit home than you did, I so needed to read this, for this september will be 4 yrs since my mom passed on and it seems just like yesterday.. I’ve struggled as you have. Even neglected lots of things that I loved to do. Just no motivation to reinvent myself…. I have neglected my blog in which I really enjoyed sharing my knowledge/experiences with others. I have 2 warehouses full of my mothers “treasures” crafts etc that we used to do. That is hard to bring myself to get started, about a month ago I did go to the larger warehouse opened it and began to go through a few totes. Brought a little inspiration to me that perhaps I need to weed through and donate, donate, donate at least until I can get them cleaned out and organized. so that perhaps I can start enjoying some of the passions that once made me creative…I thank you for your post today, and hope you gain some warmth that it helped at least myself…. as I know it will others that read it. I think that I can start taking baby steps forward….. I’ll let you know how my progress goes… and thank you again and hope you have a wonderful and blessed day… 🙂 lisa
Lisa,
I’m so glad that my words were able to help you today. Thank you for taking the time to visit. {{{hugssss}}} I finally went through my dad’s clothes. About half way through them, I just buried my face in his t-shirt and sobbed my heart out. I could smell his cologne still and it helped to just let the pain flow out of my eyes in big tears. I’m much better now. So I think going through your mother’s things will be very therapeutic and it will help you feel closer to her. It will also reinforce how much you both love each other. And if you feel like crying, just cry! I know you will feel so much better afterwards.
I have got to tell you that I really needed this post this morning. Been dealing with a lot of issues and this just basically said what I got up this morning and told myself. I also lost my dad (three years ago in car accident) and my life has been changed ever since. Everyday you must find a reason to continue on and get through all the tough times and follow your dreams. Thanks again for the great post.
Beverly,
Every day it is one step at a time. I’m so glad that my post was helpful this morning. Hang in there, know that you are not alone and keep your focus on accomplishing your dreams. We can do it! {{{hugssss}}}
Good morning my beautiful daughter. You have to keep remembering no one is gone, but that they are waiting for you. I wish I could spare this pain for you four girls. I would stay forever just for you. To think of it, that is exactly what happens. We are a family forever. I love you so very much and I am sorry that one day I will break your heart. You are my souls laughter and joy. I will never be far from you…that is a promise.
Yep. 😀
I lost my mother 9 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her and feel the pain of losing her. It has become easier to deal with, but my heart will forever be broken. When my mother died, a part of me died with her. My life became a series of heartache and loss from that day on. Shortly after I lost my mother, my marriage ended and so did life as I knew it. I hit rock bottom and lost all desire to go on. But I somehow found the strength and I thank my children for that. If not for them, I don’t know what would have become of me. There are many things that I still struggle with, my life is hard to endure at times, but I won’t give up. If my mother could endure the tragic life that she lived and the pain she bravely faced every day while she was suffering from cancer, I can and will persevere through my present situation and whatever comes my way. My mother was and is my inspiration, my endless love and my beautiful angel.
Thank you for writing this post. For many reasons, it was perfect timing for me to read this today.
I’m sorry, Roe. Don’t give up. You can keep going and I’m sure your mother is watching over you. {{{{hugssss}}}}