Dark clouds loomed above as the lightening flashed and the thunder rumbled the walls of my home this weekend. Rain and storms are fascinating and make me feel very invigorated, so I wasn’t scared at all. As the big drops of rain were hurled by the wind against the windows, I watched the trees lean this way and that in response to the forces of nature.
I pulled the couch closer to the large window so that Bella and I could watch the scene unfold like a movie on the big screen. She would jump up and bark frantically at the noise and then leap back in my arms. I watched the tree as the ragged bark protected the core from the rain and wind.
I decided earlier that day that I have been a tree very much like this one I now watched standing tall in the pouring rain.
Before the storms rolled in, I took a few photos of the tree looming high and vulnerable with outstretched branches in the gray sky.
The tree has thousands of tiny branches going in every direction and they are all completely void of leaves or flowers.
There was an abandoned bird’s nest tucked into the crook of a few branches, but it only made the tree look lonelier.
Some of the branches look very disfigured.
While other branches were actually broken and exposing the light colored wood inside.
The tree is not pretty…now.
I know that when the spring comes, this tree will have thousands of beautiful leaves on it and the bark will look richer in color. The branches grow spurts of green, extend further and then grow bark that will get thicker throughout the summer.
After the storm was over, I sat down to look at the newly designed blog I have been tweaking for the last year. I just was never satisfied with the functionality and different aspects of the design. As I stared at it, I felt overwhelmingly depressed. The longer I looked at the new design, the more I didn’t like the look or feel of it.
I knew why I didn’t like the blog design.
Everything about it reminded me of my PSTD and the horrible two years that I have lived through and thankfully survived. So the design had to go…Yeah, I mean I hated it that much.
I stripped the background and changed all the colors to be my favorites. Immediately, I felt happier and than started to attack the coding with a vengeance. I worked late into the night and most of the next day. With each thing that I rearranged or changed, I felt that I was shedding bark like a tree in Spring.
At the conclusion of the stormy weekend, I have completely changed my new blog design on WordPress and only have two things left to do before I move this blog over there.
The weekend storm is over and the tree with the raggedy bark is still proudly standing tall outside my window after having weathered the harsh elements of nature. Today I am also proudly standing tall because I have weathered the debilitating effects of a horrific and traumatic event which left me crippled with PTSD. I continually pinch myself because it is hard to believe that I really am getting better every day. I won’t ever be the same person…I am already better in so many ways than I have ever been and the glimmer of a brighter tomorrow is definitely in view. It is such a relief to feel like a valuable, loveable and intelligent person again.
Trees often fall because they are not strong enough to fight the elements of nature.
People fall because they are not strong enough to fight the trials of life.
I’m not falling.
I can also guarantee you that I am not growing moldy gray-green bark! After looking at this tree for so long, I decided that I am going to just keep my cute, little brown freckles instead! (wink)
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