Squished Guts In The Flyswatter

I am a little brain dead tonight, so I contemplated writing about nothing. However, do you know that it is impossible to write about nothing? Take for instance this post. Up to this point, I have only written four sentences, but it is “something” and I could not say that it is “nothing” because there are words and therefore it is something. The discourse might be boring, but then again, boring is still something.

Do you see what I’m saying?

It is impossible to write about nothing, but it is very possible to be boring. I would venture to say that my kissing post was not boring. I enjoyed writing it immensely. I obviously like kissing. I get lots of hugs from friends and Alyssa, but I don’t get “those” kind of kisses from friends. Passionate kisses are only for your lover and well….

Anyway, let’s stop talking about kissing because I’m trying to discuss the nuances of nothing and somehow I was derailed by kissing.

So now that we have established that it is impossible to talk or write about nothing, I do want to say that sometimes “boring” things feel like nothing. Have you ever been trapped in a conversation with someone and you had to keep looking at them, listening, nodding and making comments when you felt the whole thing was a huge waste of time? You were so bored you started making the grocery list in your head? Those kind of moments make you wish the person would walk away because the silence of nothingness at that point would be welcomed.

I’m glad we got all that defined. Phew!

Since I don’t really have anything profound to say, I thought I would just tell you the thoughts running through my head. It’s that “get to know me better” thing. I promise it will be better than poking a stick in your eye. I’m also not going to make it a long list.

• Talking about eyes…my eyelid is doing so much better. I enjoyed the chickens at Grave’s Mountain, but this whole eyelid thing has been a nightmare. I’ll have to do a post and show you how awful my poor little eyelid looked.

• I can’t believe it is almost the end of the year. Actually, I’m glad this year is almost over. I have a bright outlook for next year and I even have hope for a happy future. It makes me think of a quote by Joyce Meyers that states, “I may not be where I need to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be.”

• I thought about Sophia today while I was deleting phone numbers from my cell phone. I finally deleted the hospital and sheriff in my dad’s little town. I can’t believe Dad has been dead for over a year. I wonder if he knows how much I think about him?

• Along with going through my cell phone, I have been reading my own posts including those which let you into my painful existence and fight with PTSD. I can’t believe I was so articulate while suffering so badly. Reading them renews my thankfulness ten fold for no longer suffering those mind-destroying flashbacks.

• The weather is getting colder. Even now, the temperature has dropped below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. The most I could hope for is that we get snow at least once this winter. I look at the beautiful photos of places that get snow all winter and I long to enjoy snow covered winters.

• I watched “The Good Wife” with Alyssa tonight and at one point, we thought that the daughter had been kidnapped and possibly killed. After the horrible experience with almost losing Alyssa to death, it just hit home too hard. I cried and Alyssa felt like throwing up. I guess it will take us a long time to heal from that experience. Brushing so close to death changed so much about our lives and outlook on life. I’m so grateful that she lived.
  

• Now for my last earth-shattering thought…I know you have been on pins and needles wondering about the thoughts going on in my head tonight. Humor me please. It will be Monday in a few hours and I will be back at work instead of enjoying the beautiful sunshine. My last thought is going to be a little story. The front of my grandmother’s house was a screened in porch. I’m sure you’ve seen those Southern homes with a big porch on the front all screened in and rocking chairs sitting on it. Well, that was her porch. Mam-Maw and I would often sit on the porch together. She was still so young with red hair and an unwrinkled face. Anyway, flies always seemed to find their way into the enclosed porch. Mam-Maw would follow the fly around and then swat it with the fly swatter. Sometimes the guts would squish between the mesh of the flyswatter. It was really gross, but the fly died and quit bothering us.

Those are my thoughts for today.

I guess I didn’t really finish the last thought, did I?

My life needed a few swats of a flyswatter. I’ve been using it to squish all the flies in order to have my life become more peaceful. You know what? It feels good too. I’m doing things I want to do, when I want to do them and without making excuses. I am so done coddling people who are so consumed with their own lives that I have become an afterthought for when they have nothing else to do or when they need something. I have been sorting through my belongings so that I can get it all packed to move sometime next year and there is excitement at the opportunity I have to start all over again…without flies.

That’s my profound post for the day. It is way past my bedtime, but I had an excellent weekend…extremely enjoyable. Yeah, let me punctuate extremely and enjoyable.

What?

Oh, you want me to tell you what was so extremely enjoyable. Well, I’m tired and need to go to bed now so I can’t expound on the subject, but I sure am grateful for the internet. It is SUCH a wonderful invention.

Yeah, I know I’m leaving you hanging.

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