Toilet Paper Surprise

I have a toilet paper obsession. Actually, I’m obsessed with not running out of toilet paper which is why I always have a billion extra rolls of toilet paper available. I’m pretty sure it all stems from the purchasing practices of my mother when I was a teenager, so I guess she scarred me for life. (wink) I once told you about a very fancy toilet paper that I would love to have in my own bathroom. We all went “oooohhhh” and “aaaahhhhh” over it. I also explored the art of Junior Jacquet and his relationship with toilet paper. I found his work to be totally innovative and quite phenomenal. Both of them are intriguing and satisfying to my unusual appreciation for toilet paper.

However, there is also another aspect to owning toilet paper that I have taken for granted one time too many. The toilet paper holder hangs on the wall unappreciated except for a few minutes out of each day. I never thought that it was too close to the floor until now. The most common discussion, usually, isn’t the holder’s location in relation to the floor, but instead is whether the roll it holds has the paper fixed to be pulled over or under. Today, neither of those things are my concern.

In my rush to get to work, I didn’t take the time to put the toilet paper on the holder. Instead, I sat it on the holder and then sped out the door. That evening when I got home, I had completely forgotten about the “chore” that was undone. Happy to be with Bella and home, I sat down at the computer and began to type out my latest post. Everything was just dandy until after about ten minutes, I realized that Bella was too quiet.

Way to quiet.

Calling her name and walking towards my bedroom, I expected to catch her up to no good. Oh, the damage one tiny dog can do! After the third time I said, “Bella!” she ran out of my bedroom looking very guilty.

You might be thinking, “How does a dog look guilty?”

A sheet of toilet paper dangling from her mouth is a sure sign of guilt and damage ahead.

Why she wants to chew dry toilet paper totally baffles me. Regular notebook paper is one thing, but thin toilet paper? Bella easily accessed the toilet paper roll that had not yet found a resting place “on” the holder. With her sharp little pearly whites, she bit and chewed the toilet paper roll into a mess.

It looked as if she had shredded it one piece at a time. Bella, of course, tried to act like she had not caused the mess that was scattered from the bathroom to my bedroom doorway. Small and large pieces of toilet paper were strewn like leaves in the Fall.

Bella pretended that she had no idea how the toilet paper ended up in pieces all over two rooms. Even without the expertise of CSI or NCIS, I found forensic evidence tying her to the scene. One small strand of fur shouted “Bella did it!” and so did the small piece of toilet paper stuck on her tongue.

Bella and I love toilet paper for completely different reasons, but obviously she is as obsessed as me. I’m not really into the toilet paper surprise that she gave me, but how can I be mad at a “redheaded” dog who has a passion for toilet paper?

I can’t.