Cougar – Animal or Older Woman?

If you’re a country music fan, I’m sure you’ve heard the song by the group Alabama that has a song with the lyrics, “Older women are beautiful lovers.”

How many times have we seen an older man with a younger woman? This has truly become a common sight and TOTALLY accepted.

Why is it so readily accepted?

Uhhh, I think it is because men rule the world and made the rule. The somewhat “official” reasoning has something to do with child bearing. Last night I saw a fifty-five year old woman have a baby, so how does THAT reason hold up?

(clearing my throat and smiling)

On the flip side, there is now actually a name for an older woman who dates a younger man and I’m not so sure I dig it. The name to which I refer is associated with a wild animal called a Cougar. Let’s see if the aging woman in search for a younger man has anything in common with the Cougar animal.

Of course, this is purely based on my own very distinguished authority. I have a classy degree with coveted letters at the end of my name. You know, OWAWS.

You haven’t heard of that before?

It stands for Older Woman Aging With Style

The Redhead Riter, OWAWS

Looks really good, doesn’t it?

Anyway, let’s get back to my scientific comparison.

The Cougar animal vs. the Cougar OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) is as follows…

The animal is the second heaviest cat in the American continents. — Hello! I do not want to be thought of as getting older and fatter even if it is true. We are skipping this particular comparison. What’s the next one? Hmph!

The animal is a stalk-and-ambush predator. — I have to admit that there are some older women who have this trait and find it acceptable with the reason that “I’m not getting any younger.” Sorry, but I have not ever succumbed to this technique. I believe that in my older age, I’m actually getting better in many ways. Besides, the only thing I stalk-and-ambush is the vanilla bean ice cream in my freezer.

The animal is territorial. — I have to say, “Well, duh!” No, I do not like sharing my man with another older woman or most especially a YWAQ (Young Woman Aging Quickly). My motto is simply, “Keep your paws and any other body parts to yourself and remained covered in my man’s presence.”

Wild. — My mother taught me that “There is a time and place for everything.” Obviously, she knew what she was talking about because she’s my mother! I am wild at appropriate times and it most definitely isn’t in public.

The animal is reclusive, solitary and usually avoids people. — Now if this was true about the older woman who dates younger men, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. The beautiful and intelligent aging woman has already learned the art of socializing and is usually quite adept at holding her own in a crowd. She only avoids people when there is just enough ice cream left in her freezer for one big bowl. She has shared ice cream enough times in her past and no longer feels the inclination to do so any more.

The animal is most active at dawn and dusk. — I can truly relate! It takes me a little while to get going and lubricate the arthritic joints, so by the time the sun sets, I’m ripping and raring to go. Maybe I have a little bit of werewolf in me because when the moon appears in the sky, I feel so alive!

Lone hunters. — Some women hunt and prowl in groups while others prefer to eliminate the possibility that one of her friends will attract more male attention thus leaving her high and dry, metaphorically speaking. I might be a rare breed amongst women because I do not hunt alone or in groups. In my case, the man has always hunted me. Personally, the whole hunting, dating scene is just not my cup of hot chocolate. Mmmmmm, hot chocolate with marshmallows by a fireplace. Is it winter yet?

Cougars have retractable claws on its forepaws and hind paws. — I don’t know how the animals take care of their claws in the wild, but there is a definite place that women, old and young alike, go to sharpen and paint their claws. It is called a nail salon and the experience is relaxing and peaceful. Although my nails may be kept quite short, they definitely can leave a mark. You can take that whichever way you desire. Hopefully I don’t lose the rest of the men who made it to this point.

The animal will vocalize by using low-pitched hisses, growls, and purrs, as well as chirps and whistles. They are well known for their screams. — I must refer back to my mother’s quote above. As an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style), I rather produce purrs and have males whistle preferably at me. I have been known to hiss and growl when angered, but to date, I truly can not ever remember chirping unless I was playing with small children.

Cougars are best adapted for short, powerful sprints rather than long chases. — I am not into multiple relationships, one right after the next. I prefer a pleasant and solid relationship that will last all the way to the coffin and hopefully beyond. Women who wish to be a true OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) need to understand that hopping from one man to the next, especially when sex is in the picture, usually gets them called names that are not becoming to my blog, my ears or your eyes.

The animal will eat any animal it can catch such as various deer species, sheep, horses, cattle and even large moose. — Desperate. That is the perfect descriptive word for this type of woman. It does not, however, appropriately describe an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style with the emphasis on STYLE). I must admit that I find large moose extremely appealing and have stopped to gawk at them on many occasions.

Though capable of sprinting, the cougar is typically an ambush predator. It stalks through brush and trees, across ledges, or other covered spots, before delivering a powerful leap onto the back of its prey and a suffocating neck bite. — Let me get this straight, neck bites are considered bad to the general public? Ummm, in my world, neck bites or nibbles are quite lovely and when given can be quite sensuous. As far as sprinting, ambushing and the stalking thing goes, I really don’t want to waste that much time hiding. I believe in the male seeking me out and preferably in a straightforward manner. I seriously do not have time to pretend like I don’t want you interested in me.

Female cougars are sometimes reported as monogamous, but this is uncertain and polygamy may be more common. — Well, if you are an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) living in the United States, polygamy is definitely against the law. Besides, refer above to the part about being territorial. There is one exception to this rule that I wish was accepted and legal. I’m sure it would be widely unpopular from a man’s point of view, but personally, I would love to have seven husbands. Let’s see, one to cook and grocery shop, one to clean and decorate, three to work and support the rest of us, one to do the outside chores, and one to help me accomplish my goals. Doesn’t that just sound lovely? Oh, I bet you’re thinking about the sex part. Well, there ARE seven days in the week now isn’t there?

Copulation for a cougar is brief but frequent. — Unfortunately, this is true far too often for women in general, but it isn’t because that is their desire! It is largely due to a man’s physical limitations unless he is young and virile or older and taking Viagra.