Bella and I Continue To Change

Definition of change: to become different; to make (someone or something) different; to become something else

Yeah, my life meets the definition of change. Does yours?

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~ Rumi ~

The good thing about all this change that has and continues to happen in my life is that when things finally settle down a bit, I will be living a whole new life than I did five years ago AND I will be a different and better person in many, many ways.

I used to feel totally discriminated against by God and in 2011 wrote about being on His Black List. Of course, I know that life is not fair and that I’m not supposed to compare myself or my life to anyone else, BUT…life has felt unfair and too hard. Then again, if it had been TOO hard, I wouldn’t be writing this post because I wouldn’t be alive. Obviously, it hasn’t been too hard. It just feels that way.

“It is your turn now, you waited, you were patient. The time has come, for us to polish you. We will transform your inner pearl into a house of fire. You’re a gold mine. Did you know that, hidden in the dirt of the earth? It is your turn now, to be placed in fire. Let us cremate your impurities.”~ Rumi ~

So I’m in the fire and my impurities are being cremated.

Alright. Having a reason for all this stuff to happen makes it easier to bear.

I think this poem called “If” by Rudyard Kipling is a piece of work that can offer a life changing moment.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Awesome.

I need to just “hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’”

Okay y’all. I’m hold on and will continue holding on while smiling through the pain, tears, doubt and fears.

Changes occur daily and I will keep taking one step at a time.