“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”
~ Confucius ~
What Is A Lie?
To make sure we are all on the same page, let’s start with the definition of lie:
- to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
- to create a false or misleading impression
- an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker to be untrue with intent to deceive
- an untrue or inaccurate statement that may or may not be believed true by the speaker
- something that misleads or deceives
A person who lies is called a liar.
When a person tells lies it is called lying.
Other words that are synonymous with lie include:
- prevaricate: implies quibbling or simply confusing the issue
- equivocate: misleading the people you are talking to by using words that have more than one meaning
- palter: unreliable statements of fact or intention or insincere promises
- fib : telling an untruth that is rather trivial
The word lie is a straightforward term that is rather blunt and is another way of implying dishonesty.
Types Of Lies
There are several different types of lies and ways to lie. Each are a little different, but make no mistake about it, they are still lies.
- White Lies: A lie who doesn’t have a victim and is told with the intent of sparing someone’s feelings.
- Pathological Lying: Untruths told by a liar who only thinks of himself. This is a very selfish type of lying because the liar has no regard for the needs, emotions and/or concerns of others.
- Self-Serving Lies: Lies told to get something you want even if it hurts others. It can also be a lie to get out of something you don’t want to do.
- Dissociative Lies: This is a term used in psychology to describe a lie told by a person who has a mental departure from reality which means that the liar believes his own lie.
- Compulsive Lying: Someone who has a habit of lying without any great concern for the way the lie impacts others is said to have problems with compulsive lying.
How To Tell A Lie
Telling a lie requires just a few steps:
- Make sure you don’t care about the person you are going to lie to OR care about your own selfishness so much that even if you care for the other person, you don’t mind all that much if your lie causes them pain.
- Open you mouth.
- Form the lying words.
- Use your vocal chords to make the words come out of your mouth.
Maybe that was just a tad bit sarcastic.
A Few Facts About Lying
Telling a lie is quite easy. Not being caught in the lie is another story altogether.
- Lies have a way of unraveling because one lie usually leads to another and another and another.
- All the lies have to actually make sense and flow together like the truth.
- The liar must have an absolutely fantastic memory. The liar has to remember all the lies told and that is much harder than remembering what actually happened.
- A liar has to be very creative. In order to have the lies believed, the liar must constantly make up new and believable lies.
- Liars get angry often when telling a lie in order to throw the person being lied to off the path that leads to the truth.
- After telling a lie, the liar will remain quiet and not answer questions. Questions about the lie could lead into a need to tell an extravagant lie which would be more to remember. It would also mean that all the previous lies and all other lies going forward would need to mesh with the extravagant lie.
Things To Remember
There’s just a couple points I actually want to make about lying. Well, other than all the other points I just made above.
- Lies hurt the person being lied to and the liar.
- Lies can destroy a relationship.
- Lying is a choice, so you can choose to stop lying at any time.
- Abraham Lincoln said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”
- The truth is always better than a lie in the long run. The truth may cause pain, but the person lied to can work through any painful truth. A lie, well, it is difficult to overcome the emotions of betrayal and distrust far more than a painful truth.
Being lied to hurts and sometimes it is detrimental.
My suggestion: Don’t lie.
My other suggestion: If you are lied to by someone constantly, avoid them by leaving their circle of influence and get out of a dishonest relationship.
My next to last thought: Karma. A lie may take forty years or more before it is thrust into the spotlight and revealed or proven, but eventually lies do not remain hidden.
My final thought: Come clean. Reveal your lies, right the wrongs and give the person you lied to the opportunity to forgive you.
“In thy foul throat thou liest.”
Obviously, I do not like lies.
I never experienced such a web of lies as I did before, during and after my divorce. They were hurtful, and for me emotionally damaging. The wise hold their tongues because I also believe lies come around full circle at some point. I am no longer on Facebook due to the suffering from lies and gossip. One of my daughters felt the need to defend me much as I tried to protect her. I will never forget what she said even though it was said out of anger; “IT’S CALLED KARMA BABY AND IT HAS YOUR NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT”. There is real truth there. She was once “the” subject of lies and gossip during an extremely painful time in her life. She and I feel the same way about lies. They have the power to destroy lives. We both have trust issues now. We have made the “choice” to avoid toxic people who are both casual and chronic liars.
Thank you Sherry for writing about a very important subject. There is “nothing” good that comes from a lie, no matter what the subject.
‘We have made the “choice” to avoid toxic people who are both casual and chronic liars.’
That sounds like a very wise decision. People who constantly lie can make life miserable.
I don’t like them either. And yet, I am surrounded by people who love them. Apparently. Since they tell them quite often. They must think I am really, really stupid.
You know, I think people who lie often think we ARE stupid! Don’t they know how obvious it is that they are telling lies all the time?
Hey Kiddo! I’m with you. According to the Bible, there is no such thing as “degrees of lying”, just like there is no such thing as degrees of sin. A lie is a lie, and a sin is a sin. There is no such thing as “white lie, pathological lies and so forth humans made that up I guess to make themselves feel better about committing that sin.
I know people will come up with the “excuse” I just told a white lie because I didn’t like her dress, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Well, if asked about something and the response is a negative one, then find something positive, such as “the color is nice, or I like the print”. We don’t have to insult people, but we don’t have to lie to them either. People should look at it in this light as well. As I said, just like lies, a sin is a sin. Murder is a sin, stealing is a sin, rape is a sin, and lying is a sin.
They are ALL sins, and in God’s eyes, one is just as bad and as much as an abomination as the other. I know that sounds awful in “our human minds” to say that, but in God’s eyes ANY sin will not be allowed into heaven. ANY sin can keep us from entering into His Kingdom.
People don’t understand the gravity of lying. They don’t understand that God put that specific commandment as one of the TEN for a reason. When I think about people who lie, it makes me want to shake them and say “WAKE UP!” They better realize that we are in the “last days” and we ALL need to do a lot of soul searching and repenting if we are going to be allowed to enter into God’s Kingdom and live with Him eternally. OK, that’s my sermon for the day. LOL!
Can you tell I loved your post? I always get on my soapbox when a subject comes up that I am passionate about.
I love you bunches! God Bless,
PJ
Thank you PJ and I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
Bottom line…I just don’t like lies. It is so much easier in the short and long run to just tell the truth. 🙂
“Take it with a grain of salt”, meaning view with skepticism, is an expression I grew up hearing about a certain family member who is a habitual liar. I love this person because she is family. But, because of her “habits”, she can only be tolerated in very short doses by our family.
It seems to me that liars often tell lies to improve the perception others have of them. But, the sad truth is that the outcome is just the opposite. People joke about them behind their backs and don’t consider anything they have to say as credible.
Any relationships outside of blood relationships are usually very short lived. And their family, while tolerating them out of obligation, will just humor them with a head nod or a uh-huh. But, any input they have on any subject will be followed up with comments such as, ” take it with a grain of salt” or “consider the source” behind their backs.
I just wish people who find it necessary to lie would realize how counter productive it is to any relationship. Do you think maybe they want to be alone? It’s a mystery to me.
Great post Sherry, thanks for sharing.
-Anne
Thanks for your comment!
I agree that lying is counter productive in a relationship. I don’t think they want to be alone most of the time. I think A LOT of people have issues that have been unresolved for TOO LONG. Eventually when they get older, the unresolved issues crash down on them and life becomes miserable. I always hope that people will deal with their demons and end up with a happy life.