100 Important Life Lessons & Truths – Things I’ve Learned

As of 2012 it is reported that 7.057 billion people live on the beautiful planet known as Earth. It is estimated that over 329,000,000 of those people view 528,000,000 page views on blogs. Of 69,093,472 WordPress blogs (current as of right now), you have found and landed on my blog to read about the lessons and truths I’ve learned during my fifty years of living. I feel rather humbled by that statistic, as well as thrilled to share some of the things I feel are important.

100 Important Life Lessons & Truths – Things I’ve Learned

1. No one is born with an instruction manual. – Although there are over 7.057 billion people on the planet, everyone is an individual. Because of the unique nature of each person, there is not a right answer of how to raise a child, communicate or react to anyone. Who the person is, what they value and how they perceive the world all play into what is “right” for that person.
2. Communication is key to any relationship. – Expressing yourself is completely different than expressing yourself and being understood. The former is simply talking and the latter is communication. In order to connect with another human being and build on that connection, it is mandatory that both people feel that what they say is heard, understood and valued and that’s the basics of communication.
3. If you’re going to marry, make sure the other person is your friend. – Falling in love is a fantastic, euphoric, float on the clouds kind of feeling. When the newness and new sex wears off in the relationship, there needs to be a firm foundation of liking each other. The person has to be someone who takes an interest in not only the things you do, but also the things you say. In order to keep the relationship fresh, you need to have your partner be your buddy and friend.
4. You can’t read someone else’s mind. – No, you can’t read the other person’s mind, so keep your lips held together and allow them to tell you what they want to say.
5. If you don’t express your feelings, don’t expect other people to understand you. – Since we can’t read minds, if you don’t express your feelings, no one is going to know how you feel. Nothing is wrong with having “feelings” whether you are a man or woman. The reason that we are hesitant to share our feelings is because we fear the pain of rejection. So with the people who are closest to you, make sure that they know how you feeling about them. As far other conversations go, fully express yourself. Allowing people a full explanation so that they understand you is important. If they reject you or your words, don’t fret because it is their problem and not yours.
6. Say what you mean and mean what you say – I’ve always said, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” I’m really and I mean reeeeeally bad at taking a hint. If you want me to know something, I will not only miss the hint, but I can’t read your mind either. To make sure that there is no confusion and that the other person understands what you are trying to convey, “SAY what you mean, and mean what you SAY.” Isn’t that the whole point of communication – understanding each other?
7. People die. – Death is the subject I don’t like talking about and I definitely don’t want to think about it. The truth, however, is that we all must die. There is really never a good time to leave everyone behind because the people left behind won’t ever want you to leave them. When Dad died I was still suffering with A LOT of PTSD symptoms. His death was almost too much for me to absorb. I wanted to be able to share more of his life and actually have father-daughter type experiences.
8. Expect the unexpected – You can dream and plan, but always be ready for something to throw you a bit off course because this is life. We can’t write our life like a book and expect it to totally flow the way we wrote it.
9. Be flexible – By remaining flexible, not only is there less stress in your life, but you will more fully enjoy your life. *The tree that bends in the storm doesn’t break.*
10. Marry someone who adds happiness to your life. – Marriage is meant to be a bond filled with love and success. If you’re making each other miserable, it defeats the whole purpose of marriage! If a relationship is constantly unhappy or riddled with arguments or hurt feelings, then something isn’t right. Quite possibly, the whole relationship isn’t right. My friend, Sophia, did not have a marriage filled with happiness. In fact, it was completely the opposite. Those are the types of relationships that baffle me. It is even more baffling that I ended up in an unhappy relationship that lasted for way too long.
11. Don’t succumb to peer pressure – You are you. At the end of the day, you are not with all your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers. Do what you feel is right for you no matter what other people try to push you into doing. Remember, they do what they want to do, when they want to do it and how they want to do it. Why shouldn’t you do the same thing? You should!
12. Be grateful – Yes, yes, yes! Be thankful for all the good things in your life and even be thankful for struggles. It is the steep mountains we climb that make us stronger. It is hard to feel gratitude for the stress and unhappiness in our life, but when we are able to see those hard times as growing moments, we will actually find success far more quickly.
13. Give – There’s nothing positive about being selfish. The more you give, the better place the world and you will be.
14. Improve yourself – Never stagnate or think that you are just coasting along. It is a false illusion to think you are standing still. Those who stop improving are actually falling backward. You’re either going forward or backward because life doesn’t let you stand still. You have one life, so make it the best, happiest and fullest it can be.
15. Like and love yourself – You’re beautiful/handsome and unique. If you find it hard to like yourself, try looking at yourself through the eyes of the people that love and care for you and believe them.
16. Have fun – This is rather simple. Life is short. Don’t be so intense all the time. Have fun!
17. Know your body – No one cares about your body as much as you do. Take the time to get to know your body. Learn what makes your body stay healthier, stronger and function properly. You spend hour after hour on ensuring that the car and computer continue to run properly and efficiently. Is your body less important than a car or computer?
18. Try new things – You don’t know if you like something until you try it and that doesn’t only apply to food. Step out of your comfort zone and experience new things. It will expand your point of view and you will discover many new things that you enjoy.
19. Learn – Knowledge is power and peace.
20. You’re not always right – You may think that you are always right, but you’re not always right. The faster you learn that, the happier you will be because people will stop avoiding you. No one enjoys being around a know-it-all for any extended length of time because no one really knows everything!
21. Improve your talent – If you don’t use it, you lose it. When you have a talent, pursue it, work on it and improve your skill level. Not only will this give you a feeling of fulfillment with yourself and life, but it will add value to the world.
22. If its not unconditional love it’s not worth having – Being loved unconditionally is a gift of peace, contentment and acceptance. Unconditional love is the ultimate love. It is the love that never fails.
23. Forgive quickly – Holding onto grudges not only makes you emotionally feel bad and blocks your mind, but it drags your health down. The faster you forgive, the faster you can move on with your life. Believe me, the people who you are holding grudges against don’t care. They move on with their lives and don’t even give you a second thought, so why should you let them consume your life? You shouldn’t! Just forgive and move on.
24. Make sure the people you love know you love them – Say it if you feel it. Say it when you feel it. Don’t let the moment pass by because it may be the last moment you see the person. Be sure to say, “I love you,” frequently. Words do matter.
25. Sacrificing for other people will improve you as a person – …as long as you don’t become a doormat. Enough said.
26. Road rage is not worth it – A car can become a huge weapon. Accidentally killing yourself or someone else because they are driving too slow or switched lanes without signalling is not worth dying over.
27. Abuse is wrong whether it is verbal, physical or emotional – I could write this a billion times. Abuse in any form is just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
28. Don’t think you have all the time in the world because time flies by rather quickly – Do you need proof? It feels like my daughter just turned 3 years old yesterday, but guess what? Alyssa is now 20 years old! I took one blink and she grew up. That’s how fast it feels, so don’t procrastinate. When you want to accomplish something or experience something, go for it.
29. You’re going to win sometimes and you’re going to lose some time – The faster you learn to accept defeat and failure, the happier you will be. Take a lesson from Benjamin Franklin.
30. Lots and lots of people are not going to like you – Big deal. Everyone can’t like you or love you. Get over it.
31. Good nutrition helps you to feel better physically and mentally. Over eating make you gain weight and causes physical discomfort
32. Only buy what you can afford – This is a lesson I have drilled into my daughter’s head. If you don’t have the money for it, don’t stick your neck out and pile up debt. There is peace in not having debt. Less is truly more. An uncluttered home is a haven of peace.
33. Be courteous – Saying, “thank you” and “please” is not over rated. Being courteous make you and the other person feel better!
34. Respect goes a long way – You don’t have to agree with everything, but respecting the differences in people and cultures brings peace to the whole world. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. Respect them because aren’t most people just trying to be happy and make the best choices possible in their life?
35. Trust has to be earned – It takes a long time to earn real trust, but it can be shattered in seconds. Guard the trust people have for you because it is priceless.
36. If you keep making the same mistake, it’s a pattern. – Figure out why you keep making the same mistake so you can break the cycle.
37. Don’t let fear hold you back – Fear has held me back from doing many things in my life and it started very early.
38. There’s no such thing as a fairytale marriage – There will always be bumps in the marriage road. Learning how to go around or over them is the secret to a happy, long-lasting marriage.
39. Marry someone who you find to be an interesting conversationalist – Marry your friend because they won’t ever stop talking to you. When all else fails, you will still have each other and great conversations to share.
40. Never give up – Never, never, never give up because bad things do pass. Life ends when you totally give up.
41. You can succeed even when people think you are going to fail – Don’t give up on your own success.
42. Allow people to be unique and relaxed about themselves
43. Have compassion and empathy
44. Don’t be selfish – Those who give, get and those who use will eventually be used. Selfishness is an ugly trait.
45. Yelling at people never accomplishes anything – It causes hurt feelings and high blood pressures.
46. In a disagreement, talk until you find the solution even if the solution is that you agree to disagree. – The problem is never more important than the people and the relationship
47. If it doesn’t look like a snake and it doesn’t talk like a snake, it can still be a snake. If it looks like a snake and it talks like a snake, then it is probably a snake. Snakes never turn into cuddly kittens.
48. Fill your gas tank up when it is half empty – Preparation saves so much heartache, confusion and unhappiness. Prepare for the worst and expect the best!
49. It doesn’t matter what the label is on your clothes, the size of house you live in, or the price tag of your car. You’re still not better than anyone else.
50. Speak kindly
51. Read – Reading will help you have a healthier mind, improved mental health when you’re older, and you will be more interesting.
52. Never say, “Never”
53. Drive carefully
54. A house is a house – A house is simply a building. A home is what you find within the four walls. The cost of the walls of a house do not determine whether it is a home or not.
55. If you know you have a character flaw, fix it
56. You can’t lie to yourself
57. See the good in people, but don’t be their welcome map or oblivious to their faults
58. Park between the lines – Oh my goodness! Please park between the lines especially if I’m looking for a spot in the same parking lot! 🙂
59. Never underestimate – You never know what is going to happen. Never underestimate a situation, person or a small thing that you do.
60. Experience the uncommon – Most people do not like the beach in the cold winter, but there is beauty at the beach when the wind is whipping cold air that cannot be found in the heat of the summer. Experience the uncommon and you will find beauty, fun and happiness that will quite possibly surprise you.
61. You can think too much – Actually, in general women think too much.
62. You can be rash and make stupid mistakes because you don’t think enough – On the flip side of over thinking, you can also not think enough. If you don’t think things through, you might possibly find yourself in a situation or with someone you would prefer to avoid.
63. It’s okay to cry – Believe me…you won’t run out of tears if you cry a lot and crying is actually quite therapeutic. Crying is an emotional release and is good for you!
64. You were born naked. Don’t be ashamed of your body. There’s a difference between being modest and ashamed.
65. Appreciate old stuff
66. Sometimes it’s too late – If you wait too long, the opportunity will slip right past you. Sometimes it is definitely too late.
67. Nothing and no one is perfect – You will never find a perfect person or a perfect experience. They simply don’t exist. As long as you understand this concept, your expectations will not be too high to miss the love and happiness in your life.
68. There’s a difference between being prepared and being excessively OCD
69. Listen to advice, but do what’s best for you
70. Therapy is good for your mental health
71. PTSD is not something to be ashamed of
72. You can get rid of PTSD – I’m living proof that you can get rid of PTSD. Right now, I’m well on my way to being PTSD free.
73. Sometimes people are ignorant and simply don’t know what to do to help you
74. Never underestimate your skills, power, intelligence, endurance or ability – You can do or be more than you think you can do or be.
75. Sex can be described with the 3 F words – fantastic, fulfilling and fun – Hot passionate sex in a relationship can remain exciting if both people have the right attitude about it. Sex is not drudgery. Being able to share the intimacy of a sexual experience is an opportunity!
76. Body language speaks volumes
77. Don’t be ashamed of your limitations. You can’t be everything.
78. Don’t assume – We all know the real meaning of assume: If you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”
79. Being lonely with someone is far worse than being lonely alone – YES! Being in an unhappy relationship kills happiness and the loneliness is overwhelmingly worse than just being alone.
80. Don’t look at it as a failure. – Look at it as a learning experience. Or maybe you fill the role during that time that only you could do. Maybe only you were willing to do for the other person or have the role during a particular circumstance.
81. Everyone on the planet is related, so racism is rather stupid if you think about it
82. Men are not better than women and women are not better than men. – We both survived and have our own separate purposes. We also have our own hardships and goals and likes and dislikes. However, it’s a miracle we get along because we are so different 😉
83. No one is better than you – Someone may have more power or be wealthier and live in a more expensive house, but they will never be better than you
84. Don’t keep things pinned up inside. – It’s better to talk and let it all out, and cope with it AND heal it, otherwise it festers.
85. Nothing is more powerful than love – I should qualify that statement. Nothing is more powerful than unconditional love.
86. Giving without the expectation of receiving back feels the best – However, love does have expectations. I’ve thought long and hard about this one and a post devoted to love and expectations is definitely forthcoming.
87. Karma exist – You get what you give…eventually.
88. In a relationship, never give up holding hands or kissing slowly
89. Being sorry is more than just words – “Actions speak louder than words.”
90. Don’t ignore – My biggest pet peeve is being ignored. Where is the love and courtesy in being ignored as if your existence is insignificant?
91. Share what you learned and your experiences/lessons taught. It improves you and others
92. Don’t stop taking care of yourself just because you get married – Why do we fall in love? Well, there’s lots of reasons we fall in love. One of the benefits of falling in love and being married is you get to enjoy sex all the time. Taking care of yourself so that you will remain attractive to your partner is important and I’m not just referring to the physical body. I’m including taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally AND physically.
93. Have boundaries – Sometimes it’s better not to say something even if its the truth because its not your place to say it.
94. Don’t judge a book by its cover – After you walk a mile in their shoes, then you will not only understand the person better, but you will no longer feel the need or desire to judge them.
95. Don’t talk down to people – Everyone deserves respect. Arrogance is not attractive.
96. Smile often – Smiling is good for you! Not only does smiling release endorphins in the brain that will make you feel happier, but smiling makes you look more beautiful!
97. Laugh often
98. Be slow to anger – Anger stops progression and is bad for your health. So keep a level head, be rational and be slow to anger.
99. Listen carefully – Is he listening? He is not listening if you don’t pause for a breath every now and then. Just saying.
100. Life is not fair – Fair is a place where you find cotton candy. Life is not fair. Never has life been fair and it will never be fair.

No, life is not fair, but it is so worth it.