Manly Communication Epiphany

 

I had an epiphany last night while I was tweeting. For those of you that do not have Twitter (a fantastic social media tool), tweets are 140 character messages that you send to a specific person or to anyone reading the stream of chatting.

I wasn’t just sending out random sentences – I had actual conversations with other people, but some of my tweets went like this…

Once I get home, my motor is running and I’m happy as a June bug in the hot sunshine

1 down and 4 to go!!! Wednesday is going to be 90 degrees! I can’t believe it!

I want to do so many things that are really great ideas, but I run out of time every day. I need employees…chef, housekeeper, secretary..

How Bout Them #Cowboys!!!! GIDDDDDYUP!

I ? snow and can’t ski. Probably a good thing since I’m so prone to accidents.

Redheads are awesome ~ especially women! … Just in case you didn’t already know that very important fact 🙂

My screen keeps doing a funky flash thing! It is irritating me 🙁

Stop dreaming every second of the day of a different life and enjoy the one you have before it is gone.

That’s when the world stopped spinning and everyone on the planet stood still. Do you recall when that happened? My next tweet could be the catalyst that ends all arguing between men and women. This is the tweet verbatim…

Advantage of Twitter: 140 characters is the length of speaking women should use when talking to men They like the facts without fluff. 🙂

Think about it for just a minute.

Women talk so much that there is a common knowledge joke of “Yes, Dear.” Surely you’ve heard that one or maybe you use it.

Imagine if all women talked to men in segments of 140 characters or less, the problem of losing a man’s attention would be non-existent! No arguments either because not one woman would have to say, “Are you listening to me?” since the length of the woman’s conversation would not go over the amount of time men have the ability to be alert and listening.

No cut to men.

Actually, no cut to women either.

We all have value and our differences make us interesting, so no offense meant to anyone. Just my fact filled opinion which must be right since I’m a redhead (wink). If you don’t understand that sentence, befriend a redhead and it won’t take you long to be in-the-know.

If it would make the men feel better and improve communications, I think women should adhere to the 140 character limit during conversations with the handsome gender. I know you are probably thinking that I surely can’t be a woman, but let me assure you that I am! I’m just a tad bit different than many women. As a matter of fact, the guys at lunch think I have so many “manly attitudes” that they nicknamed me Steve. I told them if I was going to have a man’s name, I wanted to have some input, so I renamed myself with a first and middle name – Steve Emerson. Anyway, my point is that I can feel the dilemma men often find themselves in during conversations with women that they communicate with on a daily basis! Sometimes even I want to say, “Shhh woman!” because the chatter is never ending about the most MUNDANE things – at least to me and many men.

Can I get a High Five men?

I mean really, I can only listen to conversations about shopping deals, haircuts and makeup for a limited amount of time. It remains interesting to me in smaller bites and I think men are somewhat the same way. That is why 140 character conversations between men and women would work so great!

Let’s try it.

Woman:

Honey, I need you to do something for me?

Man:(silence, but you can hear the roar of a football game in the background)

STOP LADIES! You just made a huge mistake. Choose the time you talk to your man with care and consideration for his ability to concentrate on the thoughts and words you are trying to convey. Take my word for it…During a football game is NOT the time.

Let’s try it again.

Three hours later when the football game is over and the man is flipping from channel to channel on the television without any interest in any of them…yet…so don’t take too long to start up the conversation.

Woman: Honey, I need you to do something for me?

Man: Yeah?

Woman: Would you take out the trash?

Man: Sure. (He makes no movement and is still sitting on the couch.)

Woman: When?

Man: When do you want me to take it out?

Woman: Now! I have a whole group of ladies from the school coming over and I’ve been cooking a ton of stuff for the luncheon and there are all kinds of cans, peels, and paper that I had to throw in the trash and it smells so stinky because I used an onion when I was baking the chicken and then I had to make those little sandwiches for the children because they won’t like the…Honey? Do you hear me?

Man: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz along with loud snoring sounds.

Now who do you blame for the trash not being taken out?

No, no, no! You can’t blame the man! He doesn’t care about anything the woman said after the word “now!” If she had stopped after the first word, his attention wouldn’t have disappeared. He couldn’t help it. She was being bor-ing!

Let’s try the end of that conversation again.

Man:

When do you want me to take it out?

Woman: Now! (Hold you tongue! Don’t say anything else! Nothing!)

Man: I’ll do it in ten minutes.

Okay, I said the communication would be better, but I didn’t say that men would do everything you wanted them to do, when you wanted them to do it and how you wanted it done.

It was an epiphany, not a miracle!

Embracing my masculine side,

a.k.a. Steve Emerson at lunch