As a Christian woman, I am supposed to practice faith in all things which is simply a belief that God will do the best for me, my family, friends, country, world…you get the point. I’m ashamed to say, having faith is very hard for me when it pertains to my life and very easy when it is someone else’s life.
Maybe that is just human
Or maybe that is being weak.
I think it is just my own weakness.
My faith has been drowned by fear and doubt.
I find it hard to just believe that God wants to bless me.
My husband, Tom, has been out of work for quite some time. He has remained steadfast and positive that in God’s time he would find work again. I have felt that God was punishing me for my sins. That I apparently deserved unhappiness, stress and fear. That the financial hardships were what I merited. I haven’t spoken this aloud except for once, but it has been in my heart.
God blesses us even when we are weak,
Sinful and
Faithless.
In complete humility and deep in my heart, I always knew that God loved me even with all my weaknesses,
Sins,
And with my lack of faith.
I tried doing many things to adjust my attitude. A few of the most different included blogging more motivations to uplift my spirit and increase my faith. I turned off the television and didn’t listen to the radio to and from work so that I could carry on a conversation with God
Pleading for a job for my husband
And to obtain the whisperings of peace in my heart.
My mother and husband’s faith was strong. Their prayers of faith were pleasing to God, I’m sure. I was weak and prayed with a heavy heart, fear and doubt. Because He loves me in spite of my weaknesses and as a blessing to the faith of my mother and husband, God granted His blessing.
My husband has a job.
An excellent job that he starts on Monday.
My heart is full with
Gratitude,
Knowledge
In the power of God
And embarrassed humility that I didn’t have more faith and believe in Him for the blessing we needed.
I know that many of you have been praying this same prayer with us, so I want to publicly thank you for your friendship,
Prayers,
And most of all examples of practicing faith.
Pamela's Understandings says
Oh yay! Congratulations my dear. The Lord knows your heart and how your faith has been under attack. But sweetheart you prevailed over those fiery darts. RR don't ever receive condemnation that you're not doing enough or the right way. The Lord says that it's by faith you've been saved not of works, lest you should boast. You were being tested and you passed w/flying colors. I love you my friend, Pammy ?
http://fearlesswoman.blogspot.com
PJ says
Hey Red! I'm fixing to go to bed, but I just wanted to come and comment. I read your comment and email, first, no need for thanks, y'all have been in my prayers if I remember right, almost since I started blogging. Satan has really been knockin' at your door, but that just means your doing something right. Like my pastor says, he doesn't have to bother with those he already has, he (Satan, not my pastor) wants to kill, steal and destroy us Christians, and the only way he can do that is if we let him steal our joy, and faith. That's not gonna happen. You also wrote a beautiful post. Just one thing though, Don't ever get the feeling of condemnation. Just remember, this is something I'm always reminding myself about also. Jesus said He didn't come to condemn the world, He came to fulfill prophecy. If He doesn't condemn us, what gives us the right to condemn ourselves? I can tell just by your posts that you are a good, faithful Christian woman, who loves her family more than life itself. As long as you go by God first, family second, and everything else afterward, then you are obeying God, and that and having a relationship with Him is what matters. By the way, I'm glad I'm not the only one who drives down the road talking to God! I (we) I'm sure God has a sense of humor, laugh sometimes. I get some strange looks from people while driving down the road while I'm crrying on my conversation. It's not as bad now that they have those ear things for your cell phones, I guess people think I'm talking on the phone. LOL! Anyway,keep fighting the "good fight" and know you aren't alone. I plan on continuing my prayer vigil until Alyssa is cured. You mentioned everything except the Dentist. Have you gone that route also? Welp, I'm gonna head for bed, but will bring y'all's name up for prayer tomorrow at church.
God Bless!
Love ya Bunches!
PJ
The Redhead Riter says
Thank you both.
Yes, PJ, Alyssa visits the dentist every year and she has perfectly clean, straight and white teeth. Her wisdom teeth still haven't done anything yet, but they usually don't until a person hits 18.
Thanks again!
Velvet Over Steel says
I am so very happy and relieved for you and your family! So happy your prayers were answered!
I can totally relate to what you wrote earlier in the post. I feel the same way so often. Don't be so hard on yourself about having doubts and fears. I think it is all part of being human and God made us human! 🙂
Hugs and Blessings,
Coreen
Oh Sew Good says
Well first of all, I'm very happy to you that your husband has a new job. Before you get too hard on yourself, perhaps the Lord used this time to grow your faith. I'm just wondering. Sometimes, it does take a while for the circumstances to line up because of the our will and the will of others.
Mrs. Claus says
Praise the Lord for answered prayers! You don't have to have it all figured out, it's the process of going to Him that you are learning. He loves YOU and your family, we just have to take one step of faith and He'll take 999!
Lisa says
Congrats to Tom! What a relief it must be for the both of you. It's easy to have your faith shaken. I have been there too, having 2 members of my family pass away after long struggles with cancer. It's hard to believe in something when people suffer so much. I'm very glad for you both!
The Redhead Riter says
Thank you all so very much for your kind words of encouragement ?
Shmonae says
That was beautiful. I have been through much of the same experience. Thanks for sharing and once again uplifting those around you..even in the blog world!
Michelle says
Hi there, Rita! This is my first visit to your blog. I just wanted to say that we have all had moments of struggle and lack of faith.
I went through two crisis's of faith that were really difficult, but He IS faithful!
I Praise God that your husband has a job now!